Family: A Community of Love

“There are four things that are too mysterious for me to understand, an eagle flying in the sky, a snake moving on a rock, a ship finding its way over the sea, and a man and a woman falling in love.”

— Proverbs 30: 18-19

What a tremendous joy it was to have my family visit me here in Coraopolis at St. Joseph last weekend. My nieces and nephews love running up and down the rectory’s long stairwell, building forts, playing hide-and-seek and getting out to play in the snow, as it is not too common in the Carolinas.

With a snowman birthday cake, Hostess donuts, bakery cookies, chocolate milk, candy and sweets, my brother Dan dubbed my home “The Sugar Cane Shack.” When we visited Grandma over at the Little Sisters of the Poor one of the children thought that it would be a pretty dull time, but was surprised that he had the time of his life. The staff at the home had chocolate cupcakes, cookies, and refreshments for the children and allowed them to play with the 10-month old Shih Tzu dog “Joey” who happily licked the sweets from the children’s faces. I was touched as the grandchildren kissed Grandma good-bye and she told each of them, “I love you.” Watching this tender scene, I realized that kids always prefer physical presence to our material presents.

It was good to take in an overtime shoot-out victory of the Penguins over the Canadiens. It was difficult to pry those kids from their box seats at the Energy Consol Center to journey home on the snow-covered roads to the rectory. After having ten in the house for a few days, it certainly got quiet quick.

After a weekend with my natural family, we welcomed 77 couples to St. Joseph for Pre-Cana Instructions this Saturday from 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM at Junior’s Restaurant. They come from such states as Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Virginia, Maryland, Louisiana, Colorado and Texas. I am grateful for the eight presenting couples from our home-grown potato patch of St. Joseph Parish who share wisdom, faith, road maps and real-life experiences in the sacrament of marriage. Our presenters include couples of 50, 40, 30, 20, 10 years of marriage -- and newly-wed couples as well.

It is wonderful to see these loving and enthusiastic couples descend upon our community, if only for a short time, to share with younger couples the importance of this step in their lives. Making a life-long commitment to the sacrament of marriage is the single-greatest decision they will make; everything else will pale in comparison. In my presentation entitled “Perspective Pathways to Integration and Flourishment,” I reference the Episcopal Church marriage rite which states, ”Marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, deliberately and in accordance with the purposes for which it was intended by God.”

As I spent time with my family last weekend, I was made eternally grateful all the “faith deposits” our parents put into our lives. In my morning prayer of the Divine Office this past Monday, there was a beautiful meditation on the sanctity of marriage and family life that I shared with the couples at our Pre-Cana. I wish to share it with you as well (see below). As these couples join us for 4:00 PM Saturday Mass and the church is filled to the rafters, may this graced-time together be a memorable and meaningful experience for them as they embrace the holy covenant of marriage and our parish family pledges our love, support and prayers for them.

From the Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World of Vatican II

(“Gaudium et Spes”, no. 48)

The Sanctity of Marriage and the Family

Husband and wife, by the covenant of marriage, are no longer two, but one flesh. By their intimate union of persons and of actions they give mutual help and service to each other, experience the meaning of their unity, and gain an ever deeper understanding of it day by day.

This intimate union on the mutual self-giving of two persons, as well as the good of the children, demands full fidelity from both, and an indissoluble unity between them. Christ the Lord has abundantly blessed this richly complex love, which springs from the divine source of love and is founded on the model of his union with the Church.

In earlier times God met his people in a covenant of love and fidelity. So now the Savior of mankind, the Bridegroom of the Church, meets Christian husbands and wives in the sacrament of matrimony. Further, he remains with them in order that, as he loved the Church and gave himself up for her, so husband and wife may, in mutual self-giving, love each other with perpetual fidelity.

True married love is caught up into God’s love; it is guided and enriched by the redeeming power of Christ and the saving action of the Church, in order that the partners may be effectively led to God and receive help and strength in the sublime responsibility of parenthood.

Christian partners are therefore strengthened, and as it were consecrated, by a special sacrament for the duties and the dignity of their state. By the power of this sacrament they fulfill their obligations to each other and to their family and are filled with the spirit of Christ. This spirit pervades their whole lives with faith, hope and love. Thus they promote their own perfection and each other’s sanctification, and so contribute together to the greater glory of God.

Hence, with parents leading the way by example and family prayer, their children — indeed, all within the family circle — will find it easier to make progress in natural virtues, in salvation and in holiness. Husband and wife,, raised to the dignity and the responsibility of parenthood, will be zealous in fulfilling their task as educators, especially in the sphere of religious education, a task that is primarily their own.

Children, as active members of the family, contribute in their own way to the holiness of their parents. With the love of grateful hearts, with loving respect and trust, they will return the generosity of their parents and will stand by them as true sons and daughters when they meet with hardship and the loneliness of old age.

Life Is A Mystery — And It Is Beautiful

“True peace is born of doing the will of God, and bearing with patience the sufferings of this life, and does not come from following one’s own whim or selfish desire, for this always brings, not peace and serenity, but disorder and discontent.”

— Blessed John XIII

The month of January affords me the opportunity to hit the pause button and read all the Christmas cards, messages and letters. It is good to spend quiet time in thanksgiving for the wonderful people who have graced my journey of faith through the years. One can never take for granted all the lives that touch and grace our life.

As a child growing up in a family of seven children where Mom and Dad struggled to make ends meet, my youngest brother Dan and I always received the same gift at Christmas: to go to three Penguins games per year accompanied by Dad. We sat in the rafters of the Civic Arena in Section D, but that didn’t matter; we were together. This Christmas I received the ultimate family gift: eight tickets in a box at center ice to enjoy the Penguins-Canadiens game on Friday, January 20 at the Consol Energy Center. I immediately called my family to mark their calendars for this date. They were thrilled and made immediate plans to head north to Pittsburgh. Coincidentally, two of my nephews will be celebrating their birthdays this same weekend. This is a particular gift we will all cherish, sharing this precious time together.

My brother Dan, his wife Kelly, and their three children -- Daniel Patrick (8), Alex (6) and Samantha (5) -- will drive 430 miles from Greensboro, NC. My sister Karen will fly in with her son, John Michael, from Charleston, SC (650 miles), for the game as well. And my brother Dave will fly with his daughter Lexi (13) 743 miles from Minneapolis, MN. Friday is Alex’s 6th birthday and Sunday is John Michael’s 14th. They are on cloud nine to come in the wintry month of January to Pittsburgh to be together as a family. There is plenty of room in the “St. Joseph’s Inn” with inflatable beds for the children. They look forward to visiting Grandma at the Little Sisters of the Poor, ice skating on the South Side, taking in the Penguins game and enjoying family time together.

I am always struck that my nephew, John Michael, was born on the anniversary of the Supreme Court decision of Roe v. Wade (1973), a day now reserved by all U.S. dioceses as a day of prayer for the legal protection of unborn children. It is also the day on which hundreds of thousands travel to Washington DC to “March for Life.” 2012 marks the 39th anniversary of the tragic decision to legalize abortion in our nation. This decision precipitated the development in our country of what Pope John Paul II called “the culture of death.” On March 25, 1995, Pope John Paul II wrote his 11th encyclical entitled Evangelium Vitae (The Gospel of Life). This encyclical was the single most authoritative pronouncement of the inviolability of human life, condemning abortion, murder, euthanasia and capital punishment. We are called to be “champions of life” and to serve the least, the lost and the little. The Church must always give attention to a pastoral plan for life in four major areas:

1) Public Information and Education — to deepen the understanding of the sanctity of all human life, whether at its beginning or end, witnessing to and serving all human life.

2) Pastoral Care — to reach out to those women who have problems related to pregnancy or have been involved in an abortion, or those who are disabled, sick and dying, their families and caregivers and those who have lost loved ones due to violent crimes and those in prisons, sentenced to death.

3) Public Policy — to restore legal protection to the lives of unborn children and those vulnerable to the pressures to end their lives by assisted suicide.

4) Prayer and Worship — to encourage people’s participation in the sacramental life of the Church, especially through Mass, sacrament of Reconciliation and programs that promote communal and individual prayer that foster life.

I am presently reading the book, A People of Hope, by Cardinal-designate Timothy Dolan of New York, in conversation with John L. Allen, Jr. Cardinal-designate Dolan will celebrate his 62nd birthday on February 6. He is the oldest of five children. His parents were Irish Catholic. His dad, Robert, was a factory foreman and his mom, Shirley, was a stay-at home mom. I like what Cardinal-desginate Dolan says of his family in talking about his childhood. He says, “Faith is the greatest supernatural gift you can have, but the second natural gift anyone can have, is a happy, loving family. I was lucky enough to have both.” I concur with those sentiments.

This week I celebrated a funeral for a still-born baby who was to be born on Monday, and a day later, I had a funeral of an 88 year-old woman. Life is certainly a series of contrasts: birth and death, suffering and salvation, cold hands and warm hearts, aridity and rain, snow and sunshine. Life is a mystery and despite all human knowledge, learning and good intentions, we must humbly accept the fact that we are finite, limited, mortal human beings and God knows what is best!

In this week's Gospel, Jesus calls the first disciples to follow him whole and single-heartedly, rejecting other options with their joys and sorrows. There is a price tag on following this call — they are to leave behind their families, jobs, town and country and finally, life itself. They understood the choice was worth the cost, and so must we. Repentance means realigning our priorities toward spiritual transformation so that our lives will be directed to God completely.

In Difficult Times

Consoling God, be a source of serenity for me when struggles and difficulties threaten to overwhelm me. God of hope, assure me of your unconditional love when I doubt myself or question the worth of my life. Truth-bringing God, encourage me to embrace you during those times when I get lost in the lies of my weakness. Compassionate God, hold me to your heart when I feel helpless in the face of the world’s pain. Light-filled God, keep me ever close to you during those moments when bleakness surrounds my life. Comforting God, shelter me under your wings when I am engulfed in sadness and overcome with distress. God of peace, you are the center of my life, a strong refuge of peace in the whirlwind of my pain. I look to you for strength and a constant assurance of hope.

- Joyce Rupp

Discipleship: The Call of A Lifetime

“O God, tell me what you want me to do and give me the grace to do it!”

- Anne Mueller

On Friday, January 6, I journeyed to Our Lady of the Angels Parish on 37th Street in Lawrenceville, the home of the Capuchins, to attend the funeral liturgy of Nina DeNinno, age 82. She was the mother of Fr. Dale DeNinno, pastor of St. Elizabeth of Hungary Parish in Pleasant Hills. I was Fr. Dale’s successor at Mercy Hospital, where he graciously showed me the ropes of hospital ministry for which I am eternally grateful. Ginny Ambrose served as organist, accompanied by Terry McGuire, a cantor from our parish. I noticed on the cornerstone that the church was founded in 1899. I thought as I looked up, entering the church, “Now this is Pittsburgh.”

I traveled down one-way roads to get there, across cobblestone streets, passing row houses that shared flower pots on porches, to be greeted by the warm hospitality of Franciscan brotherhood, offering me coffee and breakfast rolls when I arrived. It was a prayerful setting as we waited for the caravan of mourners accompanying the hearse that carried her body.

Retired Auxiliary Bishop William J. Winter attended along with sixteen Capuchin Franciscans and seven diocesan brother priests. Atop the door of the church was "20+C+M+B+12," fitting for the Feast of the Epiphany, the traditional day for the blessing of homes when chalk is marked over doorways consecrating the new year. These initials remind us of the legendary names of the Magi: Caspar, Melchior, Balthazar, and the Latin motto Christus Mansionem Benedicat, (“May Christ bless this house.”)

Nina had just attended Christmas Eve Mass and had everything ready for Christmas. All the gifts were wrapped, her house was decorated and her meal prepared, only to suffer a heart attack at 1:00 AM on Christmas Day. None of the family members had opened gifts yet as they kept vigil at the hospital in hope, prayer, and love. In my remembrance card to Fr. Dale, I mentioned that his mom gave him three great gifts: life, faith and love, for which he can be eternally grateful and for which her spirit will live on in sacred memory.

As I worshipped in that cathedral-like church adorned with beautiful stained glass windows, the Crèche and all the lights, I was touched when Fr. Dale mentioned in his closing comments that his mother received the ultimate gift on Christmas — being called home to God in heaven to join his father and brother who preceded her in death. He thanked those in attendance for giving the DeNinno family the gift of their presence and prayer through this dark time in their family history. With confidence the mourners sang “Blessed Are They” as her body was brought to Mt. Carmel Cemetery in Penn Hills.

From January 9 through 14, we celebrate a time of National Vocation Awareness, answering God’s call to follow Him is the work of a lifetime. A vocation is not partial or temporary; rather it demands a lifelong commitment which encompasses one’s very identity and meaning of one’s entire life. The call of God demands mind, heart, feelings, ambitions, body, soul and spirit to the mission and the ministry of Jesus Christ. To discern a vocation, we must remember that God cannot drive a “parked car.” It is rather through the interior freedom which He gives us that we encounter His grace, desire, love, and pursue His friendship more than anything else.

In today’s Gospel, Jesus calls two sets of brothers, Andrew and his brother Simon, James and his brother John, and asks the $64 million question, “What are you looking for?” We, too must answer that same question. Are we looking for financial success, social position, a great wardrobe, the perfect person, a chance to clinch the best paying job or to discover the ideal place to live? Are we looking to do just the minimal to get by? Or, are we looking to learn from past mistakes, grow in a life of virtue, seek a deeper intimacy in prayer with the Lord, or help to get closer to family in the work of reconciliation?

While I was greeting people after Mass last week, a 34 year-old radiologist at Children’s Hospital told me that the previous week he was in India with his parents for Mass. He mentioned that my long-time friend Victor Rocha, who inspired me to be a priest, sent his regards and blessings for the new year. At a very young age, at Sts. Simon and Jude in Greentree, I was invited by Fr. Victor to serve more at God’s altar and to consider more seriously the call to a vocation and prayer, to seek God’s will in my life.

God gives us radical freedom. He doesn’t force us to follow Him. Jesus invited His first followers to “come and see”, not just where He resides, but where he abides, dwells and remains. As we journey through life, we can be half asleep, inattententive, unaware and blind to God. As young Samuel was roused from the dead of night and Andrew and Simon Peter were called in the middle of the afternoon to answer the call of God, one must answer that call daily for a faith-response to be activated.

I was delighted to receive a phone call this week from Bishop Zubik’s secretary telling me that Bishop Zubik would like to join our parish for the Stations of the Cross on Friday, Feb. 24 at 7:00 pm, and for a fish fry that same evening. Immediately I thought that with the closing of the school I’d better call people in order for the fish fry to happen!

Did you ever wonder how many calls come into the rectory on a given day? Morning, noon and night we answer calls for a myriad of needs: to register for Pre-Cana, have a child baptized, anoint someone in the hospital, register to join the parish, have a Mass offered, and so on. We try to respond to the call to serve God’s people with compassion and grace each day.

God’s call is mysterious;

It comes in the darkness of faith.

It is so fine, so subtle,

that it is only with the deepest silence within us

that we can hear it.

And yet nothing is surer or stronger,

nothing is so decisive or over-powering as that call.

This call is uninterrupted; God is always calling us.

— Carlo Carretto

Epiphany: Light in Darkness

“We are meant to shine, as children do. We are born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.”

— Marianne Williamson

Recently a man named John Kralik, who wrote a book entitled A Simple Act of Gratitude, was highlighted in the national news. In this book and others which he wrote, Kralik expresses the importance of conveying thankfulness in a meaningful way. Though we are inundated with communication, our often paperless world of Twitter, Facebook, e-mail, etc., can leave us in a void of the impersonal and indifferent. Kralik counters this by stressing the personal touch to thanking others. I recall Mom telling us as children that there was nothing more important than to render thanks to the one who bore us gifts.

John Kralik states that there are four simple steps to thank others in a meaningful way:

1. Grab a pen and paper. Hand written notes make people feel special — it’s almost as if the person is in the room with you.

2. Be specific. Thank the person by identifying the gift and be sincere about what you specifically liked about it. For instance, “You must have known that Harold’s Inn was my favorite restaurant when you gave me a gift card there!”

3. Dig into the past. In addition to those close to you from day to day, perhaps there is someone who helped you at a critical junction in your life in years passed. For instance, a doctor who relieved your pain after consulting many other physicians. Or parents, whose many sacrifices are appreciated by a young adult in college. Sending a note even many years after the gift can be a special blessing to another.

4. Keep it short. The message you convey doesn’t need to be complicated or eloquent. Just three or four sentences will do fine. Keep the focus on the thank you and the other person’s kindness and goodness.

Today we celebrate the Solemnity of the Epiphany (meaning “revelation”). On this twelfth day of Christmas we remember the Magi or Wise Men who were led by a star to the birthplace of the Christ Child, as they bore gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh in thanksgiving. The Wise Men rejoiced with uncontainable joy and broke out in profuse gratitude in offering their precious gifts. They gave the best gifts for God: Gold is a symbol of royalty. Incense conveys the perfumed aroma of Christ from the small hidden grains of aromatic material placed upon burning charcoal. (Similarly, we incense the altar, the Gospel book, the Cross and the Crèche during this holy season. And certainly, we use incense for funerals.) The Kings presented myrrh because Jesus took on our human weakness and was burdened with our sorrows. Myrrh reminds us of the passion of the Lord, when on the Cross, He was offered wine, mingled with myrrh. I can remember growing up that if there was a particular food we as children did not like, an event we preferred not to attend, or a prolonged sickness that we found unpleasant, Mom would always say, “Offer it up!” Mortification, if it is well received, purifies us like gold in the fire.

As we begin the New Year, it’s good to be reminded that coming to Mass on Sunday is the best way we can thank God for the good gifts he gives to us, namely: Himself, life, family, friends, sacraments, Church, faith, love. At Mass, time and eternity intersect. It is part of God’s plan for our salvation that we are able to meet Him directly and receive His grace through His sacraments to grow in holiness, virtue, integrity and union with Him.

Fr. Patrick Peyton, the great rosary priest, instructed the world with his motto, “The family that prays together, stays together.” He advocated making a rosary daily. In growing up with a family of seven children, going to Mass on Sunday was about as optional as breathing. To miss Mass was to stop breathing. It is a sure path to spiritual asphyxiation. The way we celebrate Mass will affect the way we live the remainder of the week. And it is the mark of our Christian identity from generation to generation. There are places in the world today such as Egypt, China, North Korea, Iraq, Sudan, Saudi Arabia and countless other areas, where Catholics risk their lives and travel hours to attend a Sunday Mass. Thankfully we are not put in jeopardy when we worship and attend Mass at our local parish. By and large, the vast majority of us can walk down the street or make a short drive to our beloved parish. Recently, Cardinal Lavada who took over the then Cardinal Ratzinger’s position as the Prefect for the Congregation of the Faith, stated that if he could say one thing to the whole world, it would be, “Without Sunday, we cannot live.”

I loved what San Francisco Archbishop George H. Niederauer said in his homily on Christmas Midnight Mass at St. Mary’s Cathedral. He said that the deepest kind of homelessness is the homelessness of unbelief. Through unbelief, we stumble along blindly, lost; we are consumed with ourselves. He continued, “We cannot receive or return God’s love unless we share daily and concretely with one another, especially with those most in need of our loving. ... When we stand up to profess our faith we will not declare that our deepest faith is in the President, or the Congress, or the state legislature, or the stock exchange, or the cost-of-living-index, or the armed forces, or social security. Instead, we will proclaim that our deepest faith is in the Father who created us, in the Son, born at Bethlehem and crucified and risen at Jerusalem who redeemed us, and in the Holy Spirit, who fills us with the life of the Father and the Son and unites as a living Church.”

There is no doubt with our Pittsburgh Steelers playing a Wild Card game with the Denver Broncos, and having been victorious with six Vince Lombardi trophies, victorious Super bowls, with parties and parades, we certainly know how to celebrate. But wouldn’t it be great if people could say of Pittsburgh that we know how to celebrate the greatest victory of all -- Jesus’ victory over sin and death? Our Holy Father Pope Benedict XVI, has designated October 2012-November 2013, marking the 50th anniversary of Vatican Council II, the “Year of Faith.” Our presence at Mass is a sign to each other of the gift and importance of family in our lives. Christian discipleship is never a “solo flight.” It is a life-long family pilgrimage. To find our way to God’s house each Sunday brings immeasurable blessing to us and others.