Saturday, June 15, 2013

Fatherhood: The Greatest Self-giving Gift

“I thank thee, Almighty God, that in sending me so great an affliction in the last hour of my life, thou wouldst purify me from my sins, as I hope, by thy mercy.”
—St. Margaret, Queen of Scotland (1046-1093)


Fatherhood: The Greatest Self-giving Gift 


On this Father’s Day weekend, Saturday, June 15, 2013 at 10:00 am, Bishop David A. Zubik will ordain 25 men to the order of the Diaconate at St. Paul Cathedral. What a joyful day for the Church of Pittsburgh! Two of the men will be transitional deacons en route to Holy Orders and ordained as priests. Twenty three will be ordained as permanent deacons, bringing the total number of deacons to 99 who currently serve the Church of Pittsburgh.

Recently, I read a story in “The Deacon’s Bench” about Deacon Joe Moratta, who was ordained last fall from the Diocese of Richmond, VA. He was 39 years old, with a wife, Katie, and 5 children: Caroline, Christopher, Jack, Michael and William. While vacationing at the Outer Banks, in Duck, NC, with his family, Deacon Joe suddenly drowned while swimming. It left everyone in disbelief, disheartened, numb, shocked and beset with grief. It was a vivid and painful reminder that life is not always fair. It does not always unfold as we plan or envision. I read the accounts of this scholar, father and spiritual leader, who worked as a controller at Randolph College, and who has a blog entitled, “The Journeyman Carpenter”. He could talk football in one moment, fatherhood in the next as well as preach powerfully on the Epistles of St. Paul. He had many cyber friends, and had a contagious spirit of joy and enthusiasm. He had a great sense of humor, and more than anything in the universe, he loved and adored his growing family. He never tired of telling stories about his children. Some remarked that no one ever got ‘deeper into their soul’ than Deacon Joe. He stung the hearts of people, penetrating their souls with God’s love.

He stressed the importance that our value does not come from what we do, but from who we are. It’s not our accomplishments, our achievements, our ambitions, that make a father, but who we are, in relationship to God, our Father, who is creator, protector, provider, sustainer, who gave us his Son, to be the model and example of sacrifice and suffering love.

Deacon Joe died on June 5. There were 800 people in attendance at his funeral, which was held at Holy Cross Church in Lynchburg, VA. In a local paper, there were requests for prayers for the Moratta family which read, “God bless you, Deacon Joe Moratta. Thank you for being my friend. Pray for him, folks, please. Pray for his young wife and children, and for all who love him. Say a rosary, light a candle. The world is a little darker today.”

When I read the daily obituaries, I am drawn not so much to the list of accolades, accomplishments or attributes; rather I notice the list of ‘proceeded in death by…’ and the list of ‘survived by…’ It compels me to ask two questions:

1. “Who will be there to welcome the deceased into the next life?” I always imagine my parents, Archbishop Fulton Sheen, Blessed Pope John Paul II, St. Francis of Assisi, and my Patron Saint, St. Richard of Chichester. These are the likes that I hope to be joined with when I die.

2. “Who is left behind to bear the burden of grief as they face their tomorrows with courage, faith and hope?”  As Christians we are called to be the ‘balm of Christ’ for people in suffering and anguish, especially to feel others’ misfortunes and show understanding for others’ failings and defects. Time and time again, the Gospel of St. Luke records that Jesus had a compassionate and merciful heart. for the sick, the suffering and the sinner. Christianity is more than a rule book, a moral code, or a theology exposé. It is the awareness that God loves His people and forgives them.





The Evangelist Luke presents Jesus sharing table fellowship with a wide range of people on the social ladder, so much as 19 times in the Gospel. In this week’s account, Jesus is invited to a formal meal at the house of Simon, the Pharisee, a well-to-do man, who had an open courtyard where there was a garden and a fountain. Suddenly, an unknown woman crashed the party. We do not know her name or her sin, but that is not important. Normally, there were 3 essential gestures of hospitality that were offered: a kiss of peace, the washing of hands and feet, and the anointing of the head with oil. The shock was that these gestures did not come from Simon, but from this unknown woman. She anointed Jesus with her whole jar of expensive ointment. She bathed his feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair, as she pleaded for his mercy and forgiveness.




Let us imagine, what is the worst thing you ever did in your life? What is the one thing in your life that you are most sorry for? Would you have the courage or grace, and be contrite enough to be humbled, as this woman was, when she asked Jesus to wipe out all her offenses, to forgive her sins and allow her to begin again? Simon was too busy pointing fingers at others. As they say, “When we point fingers at others, three fingers are pointing back at us.” Because of her great sorrow for her sins, Jesus showed her great love.

We all sin and make mistakes. We are all weak and broken in our nature. Sometimes our relationships are more dysfunctional than functional. It’s not a perfect journey for any of us. It was never meant to be. That’s why we must cling to and yearn for God; knowing His forgiveness and love along the journey. He loves us in spite of our brokenness. We can’t earn God’s love; we don’t deserve it. We can’t buy God’s love; we can only accept it. No sin is too big for God to forgive. No sin is too grave for God not to heal it. No sin is too long ago, that today’s fresh forgiveness cannot heal. No stranglehold of sin or addiction can hold us back once we experience the liberation from the stranglehold of death. No sin can hold us in the tomb if we seek to be released by God’s healing touch.

The saints knew their many sins, but they were also great lovers. When we really love, it makes us ‘sin-sensitive’. Jesus loves us so much that He really died and really suffered for us. So we must count our blessings, as He seeks to restore us, receive us and reconcile us.

Father’s Day is a great day to thank God for the vocation of fatherhood, whether biological, adopted or spiritual. As we spend time celebrating our fathers by sharing a meal or remembering them in death by a visit to the cemetery, let us always remember to honor, respect and pray for them. Happy Father’s Day!

Monday, June 10, 2013

‘Family Time’ - A Cabin, the Glue

“Without the Holy Eucharist there would be no happiness in this world, and life wouldn’t be bearable”.
St. John Vianney


‘Family Time’ - A Cabin, the Glue

 The Jones family gathered for an extended Memorial Day weekend, at my brother, Dan and wife, Kelly’s home in Greensboro, NC, (420 miles from Pittsburgh). Everyone looks forward to having a Sunday cabin Mass. I brought my Mass kit along with my luggage. They own 53 acres in Reidsville, NC (approximately 30 miles from their home) where we celebrated Mass. Everyone gets a kick out of not having to get dressed up. Mass can start at any time, and it isn't as long as the ‘big church’, they can offer their own prayer intentions of what is in their hearts and minds, and no collections are taken! In their cabin kitchen, there is a beautiful picture of the “Last Supper” and lo and behold, there were 12 of us at the gathering. In the room, there was a rustic plaque hanging with the word “Simplify”. Time in the country away from it all makes life more simple. After sharing the Eucharist at the kitchen table, we ate our breakfast (pancakes, turkey bacon, scrambled eggs, toast and juice) as we held hands and offered thanks to the Lord for bringing us together to offer the Mass for Mom’s intention.

Dermatology Practice to have a “health clinic”. Dan takes care of skin, Dave takes care of feet, and as a Priest, I heard confession. Dan remarked “On this holiday, the dermatology visit is free, podiatry visits are free, but confessions are $10!” I made out like a bandit and it paid for my gas back home! 

Around my brother’s house, I noticed door hangars with the words “Family Time.” I thought to myself, any investment that we make in family relationships, pays off dividends. Although we come from the same family, we are different. Yet coming together, on this holiday weekend, we are strengthened to help blend, bond, and build us into being continued nourishment for one another. Family stories, sharing laughter and fellowship, enjoying nature, playing games, throwing a rod into the lake, taking a hike, watching the labradoodles frolic around in playfulness, maintaining the land, enjoying campfire chats as we ate S’mores (graham cracker, marshmallow and chocolate, melted together over the fire) are just some of the ways I savor this Memorial Day family gathering.

I broke my new car in with this trip and am grateful for the GPS navigation system, Bluetooth (hands free calling) and my Sirius satellite radio. The GPS reminds me of God. 1) It knows how to get us where we are going. 2) It can direct one along the path. 3) It can redirect us when we make wrong turns and 4) It never gives up on us, no matter how many times we mess up. Like the GPS, our God is a God of second chances, and sometimes even third and fourth and so on. As long as we are sorry for our straying, God will get us on the right track that leads to our final destination. So, let us never give up on God who never gives up on us. 

As we celebrate today, the Solemnity of the Body and Blood of Christ, let us reflect on the simplicity of our faith to be nourished by God’s word, to be sanctified by His body and blood that gives us courage and strength to be his followers. While away, it reminded me of how grateful I am to serve as a priest at St. Joseph Parish.

I had quiet time to do spiritual reading. During the time, I read the book Walking the Disciples Path - 8 Steps that Will Change Your Life and the World by Linda Perrone Rooney. She is a spiritual director, hospital chaplain, pastoral counselor, retreat leader and is the founding director of the Center for Healing and Spirituality in Winter Haven, FL.

Step 1: Surrender Your Nets (Matthew 4:18-22) The Church equips us through our baptism to become and make disciples using our own rod of faith and net of good works. We must fish in every day circumstances, in the sacred environments in which we dwell.

Step 2: Live as a Blessing (Mathew 5:1-12) Jesus offers the core values of his teaching and the secret to what will make life worth living, the Beatitudes. The word heart is used more than 630 times in scripture and the Jewish-world view taught that the heart was the life force and organizing principle of the entire body, mind and spirit. If a spiritual stethoscope evaluated the health of our heart, it would probe our motives, values and character. We must have three distinct qualities to truly live poor in spirit.

Humility—Not defacing oneself or selling ourselves short by denying our gifts and talent. True humility is to recognize what we have been given by a gracious and generous God. We are not self made, overconfident arrogant people with inordinate pride, but rather humble people who know our place in the universe and know our need for God each and every day. Eating “humble pie” is healthy spiritually.
Vulnerability—To allow our deepest emotions to be at the surface of others. To reveal our own wounds in an attempt to heal another.
Trust—To trust in God, we must let go of control, fear and believe He knows best. When we live simply, and we seek inner calm, we yield to God’s will. God takes residency in our hearts.

 Step 3: Love your Enemies (Matthew 5:43-48) Someone once said as you get older, family and friends come and go, but enemies accumulate. An enemy is anyone who is an opponent, challenger, rival, foe, competitor. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies.

Step 4: Cultivate a Generous Spirit (Luke 6:37-38) Love always involves giving and our giving must be personal as we assess our own blessings, commitments and abilities. Giving should always be a private offering, not done for publicity. St. Paul reminds us there are 4 beneficiaries of our giving: the giver, the recipient, God and the Church. 

Step 5: Pray like Jesus (Psalm 141:1-2) Prayer is not about words. It is about being connected to the ground of our whole being—God. Through body, mind and spirit to be at rest in the presence of the one who loves us. “I call to you, Lord, come quickly to me; hear me when I call to you. Let my prayers rise like incense in your sight; the lifting of my hands like an evening oblation.”

Step 6: See the Good (Matthew 7:1-5) Most of the conflict in the world, our church, our families, and within our own hearts resides in our judgments and prejudices. They stunt us from seeing as God sees. “The more one judges or condemns another, the less one has time to love another”. Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta. 

Step 7: Heal all you Meet (Matthew 8:5-10, 13) The world is a ripe field in need of healing. We are called to be the healing presence of Christ in the face of pain, loneliness, isolation, fear and death which is everywhere.

Step 8: Do not be Afraid (Matthew 14:22-23) Jesus’ most profound anthem is His admonition to be fearless. Every generation must face and question whether evil will triumph over goodness. Yet we learn that God’s reign rules in spite of illness, tragedy, war, famine and human sinfulness. Fear is conquered through love. 

Through these 8 steps: surrender, bless, love, give, pray, see, heal and trust, may we renew our commitment at every Eucharistic sharing to walk in the disciples path that changes our life and the lives around us!




 




Thursday, June 6, 2013

Excerpt from Fr. Rich’s 25th Anniversary Homily

“Love is the guarantee that the life of the Spirit is growing in us. Love is the sign of the Holy Spirit at work in the Church and in the world.” -Thomas Merton.

Excerpt from Fr. Rich’s 25th Anniversary Homily:

It was on Pentecost Sunday, 25 years ago that I first celebrated Mass, and it is with great joy and gratitude, that today, I give thanks to God for sustaining me in the faith for a quarter of a century. I am grateful to each and every one of you; those present in the church this day; those who could not be here, but are here in spirit and prayer; and those who have been commended to God’s care in glory.

The prelude music set the tone for this Mass of Thanksgiving, marking the 25th Silver Anniversary of my Ordination to the Priesthood: “Surely the Presence of the Lord is in This Place” by Nanny Wolfe, “How Beautiful” by Twila Paris and “Grace Alone” by Scott Wesley Brown and Jeff Nelson. These songs of faith stir the assembly of believers as we gather in God’s house, opening our hearts to His word and to receive His Body and Blood. It was resoundingly, that we were met with our opening song: “All Are Welcome!” by Marty Haugen.

‘Hospitality’ and ‘welcome’ was always a hallmark of Jewish prayer and faith. So, I welcome all of you, from near and far, family and friends, young and old. I offer a special welcome to my 92 year old godmother, Aunt Jo, who traveled with my cousin, Sandy Lewis from Salem, OH to be here today. As Aunt Jo stood as a sponsor in Baptism for me, 51 years later, she continues to ‘fan the flame of faith’ in my heart through her faith, joy and love.

There are 3 gifts I would like everyone to take home from this special occasion:

1. A prayer card that includes a picture of my patron saint, St. Richard of Chichester, (1197-1253), and my favorite prayer on the back: “Thank you, Lord Jesus Christ for all the benefits and blessings which you have given me, for all the pains and insults which you have bore for me. Merciful Friend, Brother and Redeemer, may I know you more clearly, love you more dearly, and follow you more nearly, day by day.”

2. A bulletin, which includes pictures from my journey of faith. My classmates from 1988 were recently on retreat at St. Paul Seminary (May 5-8, 2013). I took a walk with each one of them and spent time with them. The late Bishop John Bernard McDowell, (who confirmed me and ordained me a Deacon), would often say when one marks a jubilee or anniversary: “We need to congratulate, commend and give thanks to those who have ‘made it’ and persevered!” “The Church is like a great ship; being pounded by the waves of life’s different stresses. Our duty is not to abandon the ship, but to keep her on course.” -St. Boniface

3. A worship aid containing pictures, poems, prayers and songs, which convey and communicate the story of my life. May you take these home as small gift and souvenir of this day.

When I walked into church this morning, I heard the song, “Yes, Jesus Loves Me” playing. Many times I heard those same lyrics sung in our home by our Presbyterian father. I know that Mom is smiling upon us now, and her spirit rests upon us today! After I opened the doors to the church, I lit a vigil candle at the Pieta statue (faithfulness forever). I am grateful for all the pilgrims of faith who have made this journey. The Church has been here long before us and will be here long after us. What a gift the Church is, as we celebrate her birthday today. It is our birthday as well, through the gift of the Holy Spirit, given to those who believe.

I received an early 25th Anniversary gift to attend the 2nd round playoff game against the Ottawa Senators. I brought along a friend, who remarked that he didn’t want me to ‘clog the system’ by slowing us down as we went through all the different check points at the Consol Energy Center. He said, “Take out your cell phone, your glasses, binoculars, coins and keys. Then we will get through this with flying colors!” As the security agents scanned us, they said, “Enjoy the game!” We advanced to second level, where there is a dynamic attraction featuring touch screen panels, enabling fans to view the biographies, stats, photos and videos that pay tribute to prominent coaches, players and great moments of the Penguins’ history.

Being a passionate Pens fan, I sometimes wonder if I’ve attended more games than celebrated Masses! After all, my Pennsylvania license plate is a personal plate from Mount St. Mary Seminary, of which I am an alumni (class of 1988). I waited 2 1/2 years to get the number “66” on my plate (Pens’ player, Mario Lemieux’s number). Penguin photos also adorn my entire office at the rectory. As we went to our seats, the ticket takers scanned our tickets and gave us a towel and a program for the game. We went to the concession stands, then went to find our seats, only to find that we were 16 rows behind the Ottawa Senator goalie! It was a perfect view! Seven minutes prior to the start of the game, they dimmed the lights and played captions of great moments from past Penguin games. Then Jeff Jimmerson sang the Canadian and US National Anthems. With fans cheering, towels waving and all shouting, the excitement was breath-taking. My friend exclaimed, “If you can’t get into the spirit here, there’s something wrong!”

Recently I read a book, “Holy Goals for Body and Soul” co-written by Bishop Thomas John Paprocki and his brother, Joe Paprocki. Fr. Thomas is a priest from Chicago (ordained in 1978), and was made Auxilliary Bishop in 2003. In 2010, he became Bishop of Springfield, IL. Bishop Paprocki is both a civil and canon lawyer and has run 18 marathons. He was a goalie for an amateur hockey league called, “Masters Hockey League” and also played goalie for practices with the Chicago Blackhawks and the Columbus Blue Jackets of the NHL. He is currently the Episcopal Advisor for “Catholic Athletes for Christ”. He is one of 7 boys and his younger brother John was active in pastoral ministry for over 30 years and also a best-selling author. In the book, they note that there are 8 steps connecting sports with God and faith:

1. Fear: 365 times in the Bible it says: “Do not fear.” I have read that there are over 750 fears that beset the human journey. We have nothing to fear, as Jesus rose from the dead!

2. Frustration: No life is without frustrations, whether big or small.

3. Failure: There are a lot more losers than winners. How do we deal with failure? Despite our own failures, God invites us to celebrate His victory.

4. Fortitude: This is a virtue that gives us strength to face the challenges in life.

5. Faith: To win in life, we must have faith in God, and the many gifts He’s given us to share with others. People who place faith in God are never disappointed.

6. Family: It is the first ‘team’ and first ‘unit’, that we play with and work with. Family lasts a lifetime. The epitome of family life is the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

7. Friendship: Abe Lincoln said, “The better part of one’s life consists of friendships.”

8. Fun: Are we having fun yet? Laughter is the best medicine!

St. Paul, the athlete summed it up best: “Whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God. (1 Cor 10: 31)
 



Sunday, May 19, 2013

Priesthood: A Priceless Pearl

“The Holy Spirit gives wisdom against folly, understanding against dullness, counsel against rashness, fortitude against fears, knowledge against ignorance, piety against hardness of our heart, and fear against pride.” ~Pope Gregory the Great


Priesthood: A Priceless Pearl

What a special grace it was to be on retreat May 5-8, 2013, at St. Paul Seminary with my classmates from the ordination class of 1988. It was 33 years ago that I began my priestly journey there. It made me think of Jesus’ 33 years of life. It was a ‘Pentecost experience’ with the abundant gifts of the Holy Spirit being poured upon us, that empowered and energized us, for the work of ministry. There were a number of talks with a different priest giving each of them. Bishop David Zubik gave the opening talk. He told us “Twenty-five years is no small milestone!”, and said that God has entrusted us to touch peoples’ hearts with love. He called us a ‘source of pride’ for the Church of Pittsburgh, and for all our brothers and sisters, whose lives, through our “yes!” have come to know Jesus.

The Bishop said that he himself had 37 years of Catholic education and that he is indebted to the Felician Sisters at St. Stanislaus School in Ambridge. He spoke in particular of Sr. Eugenia, a brilliant and stately nun, who had a doctorate. He recounted the time when he received his first Holy Communion along with 60 classmates. Sr. Eugenia stressed an important lesson: receiving Jesus in the Eucharist would change our lives. She told the Bishop’s class to pray that Jesus would help us to receive Him as: ‘our first Communion, our last communion, and our only Communion’. Humans are creatures of habit and there can be a great temptation to take this sacred encounter for granted. It could even become robotic, routine and commonplace. The Eucharist, is freely given, but was never meant to be a ‘freebie’. Jesus expected and demanded service of those who were to receive Him. The Bishop encouraged the priests present to celebrate the sacred mystery of Holy Mass as if it were our: ‘first Mass, our last Mass, and our only Mass’. He discussed the Miracle of the Feeding of 5,000: Jesus took, blessed, broke and gave. (Mark 6:34-44). This action of Jesus is once again imitated at the Last Supper, which is not only the institution of the Eucharist, but also the institution of the priesthood. When Jesus washed the feet of His disciples (John 13), at the time it was considered uncouth to do this. Jesus emphasized the importance of humility and servant-hood.

The priest is essential for the Eucharistic assembly. The priest, Eucharist and the people are all gifts. As a priest, the highlight of my day is always the Eucharistic sacrifice. The Paschal mystery, the dying and rising of Jesus, is the center of my entire priestly life. The Eucharist belongs to the Church and one must celebrate it faithfully, communicating the heart and mind of the Church with a continuity throughout every generation. As in the words of Sr. Eugenia, “Lord, help me to celebrate you, receive you, and give you as if it were my first Mass, my last Mass, and my only Mass.”

Fr. Tim Whalen, who preached at my first Mass on May 22, 1988, Pentecost Sunday, spoke of the importance of ‘lifelong formation.’ He remarked that he attended the 50th Golden Jubilee of Fr. Bernard M. Harcarik, Pastor of Prince of Peace Parish in South Side. Fr. Harcarik said - “I am still learning what it means to be a priest. I’m still going deeper, as there is so much more that I have to learn even after 50 years.” Fr. Whalen noted, “That is the mark of a good priest.”

When Jesus went to the mountain to pray, he called forth his 12 followers, challenging them with a mission. He sent them forth to preach, teach and heal in His name. (Mark 3:13-15) Fr. Whalen stressed that Jesus is in fact creating an awareness of a need of ongoing formation through 3 facets: evangelization, servant-leadership and lifelong formation.

In “Pastoris Dabo Vobis” (Blessed John Paul II “The formation of priests”-1992), it states that there are ‘four pillars’ that blend together, that are intended for life, and that each dimension builds on the other: human, spiritual, intellectual and pastoral formation.

1. Human formation: Is the priest a man of communion? (One who unites, bonds, brings people together.) Everything builds on the human. A priest is called to be a ‘bridge-builder’ with the people. One must know the human heart. One must be in touch with his own heart in order to touch the hearts of others and be effective. Through the sacred vow of celibacy, a priest opens the vessel of his heart to the affectivity of the heart, to love others and receive their love. We need to reach out to others and allow them to reach out to us. A priest is part of every family and the more one belongs to Christ, the more fully one can belong to others. Family is precious, friends are prized, but the first place in our hearts is reserved for this priceless pearl, in life: our relationship with God.

2. Spiritual Formation: Is the priest a man of contemplation? (One who cultivates a listening, silent posture of prayer.) It is critically important that one listens to what God has to say. God has powerful stuff to communicate but He has to be able to get through to us. The word absurd means to be deaf, to not hear. The word obedience means, to listen, to obey. “Don’t be an empty preacher of the word of God by not hearing God’s word in your heart first.” ~St. Augustine

3. Intellection Formation: Is the priest contemporary? (Be updated, on top of things, ‘speak their language’, do not be afraid to be stretched.) It could mean to learn another language, acquire another skill, or accept another challenge to grow outside of ‘where we are potted’.

4. Pastoral Formation: Is the priest a communicator? (When one is tired, overwhelmed or burned out, one cannot shepherd wisely.) All three of the previous formations feed into this one. One must cooperate with grace, gifts, skills, opportunities, desiring to pray with and lead others. Pastoral practice must be paramount - through sensitivity and hospitality and presence.

Fr. Carmen D’Amico spoke about the infant Church and the ideals of the Apostles. Like the Apostles, at the beginning of their ministry I was also idealistic. We must recapture what has become forgotten or frozen, in order to reclaim that original joy. The vision and the longing and striving for idealism must be revisited. I recapture my joy and excitement through hospital visits, home-care of shut-ins, speaking to and sharing with youth, breaking open God’s word, journaling and writing, one-on-one experiences such as: counseling the addicted, the penitent, the sick. The Acts of the Apostles is fresh wisdom of the ancestors of the faith, reminding us that we need to ‘rekindle’ each Easter season and perhaps even each day.





Fr. Fred Cain said that in reviewing our 25 years we can see God’s love and care for us. God is so good. He has surprised us, which leads to the fulfillment of His dream for us, one day in heaven.

Fr. Charles Bober spoke about the ‘Call of the Prophet Jeremiah’ (6th cent. prophet), and asked the same questions that Jeremiah asked in 600 BC. Am I making any difference? Am I really doing any good? Do I examine my conscience daily, do my best, and try again tomorrow? Through the ‘muck and mire’ of life on earth, God watches and walks with us. Let us live for heaven. That is our destiny. It gives us hope here on earth. After 25 years of ordained ministry, I love the call to priesthood. I have no regrets. There is no greater joy!











Sunday, May 5, 2013

Love: Never Miss A Chance To Say "I Love You!"

“Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if the whole world seems to upset you.” —St. Francis de Sales

Love: Never miss a chance to say “I love you!”


On Saturday, April 27, I arose early in order to work out for an hour on my elliptical machine, then run 3 miles on the Montour Trail, after which I came home to open the doors of the church. I lit 2 vigil candles: one for the 70 future brides and one for the 70 future grooms, who would descend upon St. Joseph for Pre-Cana instructions. As I prayed before the Pieta (‘faithfulness forever’), my simple prayer was that their commitment would be a pledge and promise of a lifetime of unending love. I was saddened that we had to turn some couples away for this Day of Reflection because we were filled to capacity, but I’m grateful that the Felician Sisters have accepted us to present this program at their home in the future months. It takes a lot of hard work, time, effort and commitment for this program to be successful. Some couples register on the internet or call the rectory, but ‘word of mouth’ of a good experience is the best reference.

Last year we prepared 192 couples for the Sacrament of Marriage, a commitment which pales in comparison to other commitments. It is great to see the enthusiasm and momentum of this program, which is sown from the seeds of commitment and dedication of our presenters, who are not marital experts, gurus, therapists, counselors, orators, or theologians; but rather, companions, mentors, witnesses and facilitators, who share their stories, and ‘faith examples’ with each new generation of couples.

There are countless measures of love that make this day special, memorable and meaningful - those who: readied Jr.’s Restaurant by cleaning before and after, prepared the delicious meals; registered the engaged couples, put the materials and the packets together, served the meals, baked for the event (Cookie Ministry), set up the speakers, audio and visual media, prepared and shared the talks, as well as the Greeters at St. Joseph who welcomed the couples to St. Joseph for Mass, at the culmination of the day. They were sent forth with a DVD set to music, so that they could recall and remember the moments of the day. The program consisted of such topics as: “Marriage: a Commitment to Love”, “Family of Origin”, “Natural Family Planning and Human Sexuality”, “Family Life”, “Communication”, “Finances”, and “The Sacrament of Marriage”, interspersed with videos, question and answer dialogue, couple interaction and table sharing.

We had 111 Catholics, 5 Lutherans, 6 Methodists, 6 Presbyterians, 1 Christian, 1 Jewish, 2 Baptists, 8 who had no religious affiliation. During my homily at the 4:00 pm Mass, I asked parishioners, Mr. and Mrs. Andy Borden to stand. Andy will be 100 years of age in November, and his wife Henrietta is 91. They are from Groveton and were long-time members of St. Martha Church, a missionary parish of St. Joseph Parish. I announced that they were a couple who were married for 69 years, at which the over- crowded church gave a rousing ovation of admiration, appreciation and approval for such a long and faithful marriage. Later, as I was distributing holy Communion, I could hear the engaged couples saying as they nudged each other: “That’s the couple!” Andy and Henrietta were a ‘living portrait’ of faithfulness and love that God has. It has been demonstrated to each other in the good times and bad, for richer for poor, in sickness and health, throughout the remainder of their lives. “If you try to out-do one another in showing respect, your life on earth will be like that of the angels.” —St. Gregory of Nyssa

I conveyed to the couples that I hoped that through committing their lives to each other in the Sacrament of Marriage that they may know the intimacy and closeness with God to one another, themselves, and to their family. The bond is so strong between a husband and a wife, that individuals leave their family of origin and begin their own new family, for they are no longer two, but have become one.

Recently, I met with a lawyer at the Grant Building in downtown Pittsburgh, in order to get Mom’s affairs in order. Because Mom and Dad’s lawyer is a ‘snowbird’ he was in Florida through the winter. I spoke to him many times in the past, and was looking forward to meeting Henry Rae, who has a booming broadcaster’s voice. He would remind you of Beano Cook, who was a well-known tv personality. The two of us immediately shared a bond through our human service professions of ‘justice and truth’ and ‘faith and love.’ I asked how long he had been practicing his trade. His response was: “I graduated Pitt Law School in 1953. “ My mouth dropped, and I said, “Wow! 60 years! You must have helped many in your lifetime.” He humbly responded, “I hope that I’ve helped a few!” Henry went on to say that he was retiring at the end of the year. I told him that I could see the passion for his work as I gleaned all the volumes of law books on the many bookcases that were in his office. He noted that he was grateful that he was spared two facets of law: Criminal Law, in which he would have to deal with perpetrators of violence, and Divorce Court. He said that there is no good news that comes from that particular facet - only sadness, pain, suffering, scars and wounds.


I told Henry that I learned from 25 years of being a priest that when the forces that unite are stronger than the forces that divide, we are better able to handle life’s adversities, disappointments and hardships. We must learn from disappointments and remain undeterred by detours; they are merely spiritual stepping stones to equip us with confidence and resolve. It is through the Holy Spirit, dwelling within us that we can ‘sweep out’ the sway of evil, injury and darkness; and all our defilement, betrayal, sadness, untruths, chaos, faults, injustices, lust and greed, so that we can welcome Him with goodness, healing, light, purity, faithfulness, joy, trust and peace. “Whoever loves me will keep my word, and my Father will love Him, and we will come to him and make our dwelling with Him.” (Jn 14:23)

I ended this love-filled day at a great ‘love of mine’ - the final game of the season: Pens vs. Hurricanes. The Pens erupted with 5 goals in the 3rd period, and the players gave the jerseys off their backs to the fans. I sat 9 rows back from the ice at the blue line, and watched as the Pens sought to obtain the goal of ‘Lord Stanley’s Cup’. I thought, “May these couples never forget their ultimate goal: love, sacrifice, teamwork and commitment.” Just as the Pens gave select fans their very shirts off their backs, so too, a couple’s own bond is not without sacrifice. Love is not automatic, love is not a breeze, love is not easy. Instead, love is a commitment that ‘embeds a groove’ for a direction of a life, purging selfishness, self-centeredness, sinful impulses.

This Easter season, as we spread the seeds of love with these couples that come from near and far to our community, let us ‘drink the wisdom of the ages’ from St. Gregory of Nyssa:
“Faith is the womb that conceives this new life, Baptism, the rebirth by which it is brought forth into the light of day. The Church is its nurse; Her teachings are its milk, the Bread from Heaven is its food. It is brought to a maturity by the practice of virtue; it is wedded to wisdom; it gives birth to hope. Its home is the Kingdom; its rich inheritance, the joys of paradise; its end, not death, but the blessed and everlasting life prepared for those who are worthy.”





Saturday, April 27, 2013

Have a Love - ly Day!

“Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.”
—Thomas a Kempis


Have a Love - ly Day!

On Thursday, April 18, 2013, Bishop David A. Zubik convened the Spring Clergy Convocation, which gathers priests and permanent deacons of the Diocese of Pittsburgh for fraternity, education, and prayer. These days always prove to be fruitful, bringing us together with Pittsburgh’s ‘chief shepherd’; allowing us to acquire new ‘roadmaps’ along the journey; share the joys and sorrows in the ministry which we yoke together in serving the Church of Pittsburgh. During the convocation, we enjoy uplifting prayer services which enrich and strengthen spiritual maturity as well as a common meal, where we share brotherhood and communion with one another.

This year the topic was: “Walking into the Light: Realities of the Internet.” The talk was given by Dr. Nancy A. Kluge, a Mental Health therapist and Educational Consultant at St. Luke’s Institute in Suitland, MD. She has a Ph.D in Industrial and Organizational Psychology and her clinical interests are in addictions, sex offender treatment and relapse prevention. She noted 5 main uses of the internet today: Communication, Information, Accessibility, e-Commerce, Social networking, Entertainment.




Dr. Kluge noted that there is an ‘explosion’ of people surfing the internet, which can negatively impact society, social and family relationships, eventually leading to out of control behaviors. The primary consumers of pornography are 12-17 year olds. (It seems as if everybody does it, and we’ve become desensitized to it.)





She spoke about online sexual activity, cyber sex, sexual problems and sexual compulsivity.  She noted that sex on the internet is easily accessible, affordable, affording anonymity, fantasy and isolation. This heart-wrenching topic must be faced openly and honestly in a world that bombards us with constant allurement of things of the flesh. “It behooves us to combat the flesh, and make use of it, without pampering it with unlawful gratifications. As to the soul, we must develop her power by faith and knowledge.”
—St. Matthias

We discussed “high-risk factors” that might lead one to embark on this path of darkness:

>Insecure attachments: Possibly resulting from a dysfunctional home life, chaotic family life, where parents were not true care-providers.

>Chronic loneliness: One has no social skills, or has difficulty making friends; Low self-esteem (one feels that they must be loved, tries to keep everybody happy, which is impossible to do.)

>Pastoral co-dependency: One may looks to others for validation. Ministering to those in vulnerable times can make one vulnerable if one does not protect one’s heart, mind and maintain healthy boundaries.

>Righteousness workaholism: Today, there is an expectation that everyone is ‘on - 365 days a year/24 hours a day/7 days a week.’ Here, one can wear out and burn-out bodily, emotionally and spiritually.

>Internalized hostility: One gives so much of oneself, that mounting resentment can build and anger boils over. One feels they must always ‘perform’ and always be ‘on’, one speaks with biting sarcasm.
>Entitlement: This is a ‘life-trap’, where one believes that one is deserving, so one demands and seeks to control, using one’s power in disregard to true service.

>Arrested psycho-sexual development: An under-developed integration of the complete personhood of the image and likeness of God, of which we are created.

>Sexual anorexia: Binging and purging, one delves deeply into the darkness, then sees it as a scourge and seeks to purge it.

>Immature spirituality: Seeing life in terms of black and white; an extremist (all or nothing attitude). One sees Jesus almost as a ‘Santa Claus’ (“If we’re good… if we’re bad…”)

Dr. Kluge encouraged us to have good social support: family, peers, colleagues, friendships, and to develop a mature spirituality, such as reading the Bible and other spiritual materials. This leads to an enriched and fulfilling ministry, where one gives of oneself as an act of love. Sin is injurious to self, God, neighbor and others. It is important to avail oneself regularly to the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and to embrace the virtuous life of chastity, obedience, simplicity and holiness.

We shared ways in which to help penitents and those in counseling heal the hurts that pornography inflicts. Like any health issue, prevention is the best medicine: One must ‘nip things in the bud,’ continuing to assess and monitor behaviors, thoughts and actions. It’s imperative that each of us has an accurate read of ourselves in a moderate range, and that we not have too lowly of an estimation or too exaggerated, that we think we are greater than we really are.

Bishop Zubik gave an uplifting reflection at the close of the day. Recently, while celebrating Confirmation at St. Columbkille in Imperial, he ran into a former high school classmate from St. Veronica’s in Ambridge. The two later met for lunch, where they reminisced about their time in high school. They recalled that during their time in school, the Bishop’s friend was ‘beige’; never making a ‘mark’ or applying himself; never reaching goals, whether in academics, sports, clubs, organizations, or friendships. He just sort of ‘was there’. A few weeks before graduation, his teacher, Sr. Marie Albert spoke to him, challenging him: “I pray that you someday get your act together. You have so much untapped potential, but you disregard it. As a matter of justice, God has a dream for you. He created you. He wants you to be the best by reaching your full potential.”

The two continued to reminisce, when the Bishop’s friend said, “You bring honor and dignity to our class and the school.” The Bishop, humble and gracious as usual, feeling that he was on the receiving end of too much unmerited praise, deflected the attention, and inquired of his friend, “What is it that you do now?” His friend remarked, “I am now a Vice President of a bank. Sr. Marie Albert’s words stung me, challenged me, and have remained with me to this day.” “To be perfect in our vocation is nothing else than to fulfill the duties which our state of life obliges us to perform, and to accomplish them well, and only for the honor and love of God.” —St. Francis de Salles 
(1567-1622) 

“Love one another as I have loved you.” (John 13:34) As a loving leader, Jesus envisions us as being the best person we can be, and we are to encourage others to do the same. So when we say, “Have a loving day!”, are we really up to His challenge? Love demands effort, investment, personal commitment to the will of God. This means discipline and sacrifice, but also ultimately means joy and human fulfillment. Jesus had a dream for a better world and He wanted His followers to participate in a better life. There were no more powerful words spoken before Jesus’ trial and persecution: “Love one another.” These words must be lived daily in our lives.







Saturday, April 6, 2013

Easter - Blessed, to be able to bless...

Easter is God’s promise which his Son came to fulfill,
A promise of eternal life, for all who seek his will.
Season of the budding trees, the lily in its glory,
The greening hills, the daffodils, the holy Easter story.
Easter is the joy of spring, God’s gift and triumph, too,
Reminding us of Jesus’ love, in which we’re born anew.
-Tender thoughts greetings from an Easter card I received.


Easter - Blessed, to be able to bless... 

 While in the seminary, I once read a story about an elderly priest. It read: “Life is a series of Good Fridays, with an occasional Easter thrown in, just to keep us going.” “No!” We objected, since we were young. “Life is an endless Easter, with some Good Fridays thrown in to keep us on our toes!”

Without Good Fridays, there can be no Easter Sundays. They are really two sides of the same lost and found coin. Yes, the old priest was right. And yes, the young seminarians were right. One can forget their Good Friday experiences when loves dissolves our pain, suffering and sorrow. And one can experience Easter when we fall and rise again, and God gives us a new beginning. Life can often be cruel, but our Easter moments are more powerful than all the Good Fridays put together.


As I think of the death of my dear mother, which was almost three months ago, Easter takes on a whole new meaning in an intimate way. She now has a new body without the limitations of her former self. And as she goes before us, marked by the sign of faith in death, may she now share in the Paschal Feast of heaven. That is our hope, our peace and consolation. “Blessed are you, my Lord, my God. For you are unchangeable in all eternity! Whoever faithfully serves you until the end, shall enjoy life without end in all eternity.”

-St. Teresa of Avila


Each time I enter the cemetery grounds at Resurrection Cemetery in Moon Twp., and view the statue of the Risen Lord, it’s as if he lifts the entire world to himself. As Jesus told Mary and Martha when he came to comfort them at the death of their brother Lazarus: [God to my rescue.] “Jesus said to her, ‘Your brother will rise.’ Martha said to him, ‘I know he will rise, in the Resurrection on the last day; Jesus told her ‘I am the Resurrection and the life; whoever believes in me, even if he dies, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?’ She said to him, ‘Yes, Lord, I have come to believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who is coming into the world.’” (John 11:23-27) 

The Paschal Mystery has two aspects:
1. By His Death, Christ liberates us from sin;
2. By His Resurrection , He opens the way to new life.


 In the book: “101 Things You Should do Before Going to Heaven.” (David Bordon and Tom Winters), it discusses that the deepest longing of the human story is for a new beginning. So one must make the most of every day that God has set aside for you on earth. We must take hold of His grace, forgiveness and unfailing love. To really live, and really love. Yes, there’s a wild and wonderful world that is longing to catch a glimpse of God and heaven—through you. Thought I’d share a few of these this Easter 2013 with you:

#24 - Live up to your name “Christian.”
#30 - Ask for directions

#33 - Let go of the grudge.
#35 - Pray your way through the news.
#38 - Walk in Jesus’ footsteps.
#44 - Bless an enemy.
#47 - Be silent for one whole day.
#48 - Walk in someone else’s shoes.
#50 - Make yourself at home in a cemetery.
#54 - Break a long-time habit.
#56 - Count your blessings.
#73 - Be an answer to prayer.
#90 - Greet the dawn.












Recently, I was asked to preach (along with a Methodist minister, for the occasion of the funeral of R.D. Copeland, longtime funeral director (over 6 decades), who is a pillar in this community and had served over 20,000 families in the death of their loved ones. I was humbly privileged to offer words of comfort. And since Mr. Copeland was Methodist, I thought I would borrow words from the Evangelist, John Wesley, English Clergyman and Evangelist—founder of Methodism (1703-1791) “Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.”




It has been good to share the ‘Good News’ of Jesus Christ with the faith community of St. Joseph Parish for my 5th Easter. With my 25th Anniversary of Ordination to the priesthood on the horizon, I am grateful to my parents and my family, who planted the ‘seeds of faith’ in our home, and all those who have accompanied me on the way to God’s Kingdom. Wishing all of you the new life Easter brings! Peace, joy and love!




We Praise You, O Christ

We praise you, O risen Christ,
The true springtime of God that shines on the winter of the world.
Make the jonquils of eternal joy
bloom in the garden of our heart.
Alleluia! Alleluia!
We praise you, O risen Christ,
The new dawn of the day without end and the sun of joy.
Make the light of eternal life shine
on the darkness of our mornings.
Alleluia! Alleluia!
We praise you, O risen Christ,
the Paschal Lamb of the feast of spring
and our royal shepherd.
Lead us to the springs of living water,
to the pastures of eternal spring.
Alleluia! Alleluia!
We praise you, O risen Christ,
the true bread of God,
kneaded from the firstfruits of the new harvest.
Purify us from the old yeast
and fill us with your eternal youth.
Alleluia! Alleluia!
We praise you, O risen Christ,
The firstborn from the dead, splendor of paternal glory.
Open the tombs of our death into eternal peace.
Alleluia! Alleluia!
We praise you, O risen Christ,
the smile of heaven on our earth
and tenderness of the Lord our God.
Open for us the doors of paradise for the celebration
of the eternal Easter near to you,
in communion with the Spirit of love, forever and ever.

Amen. –Lucien Deiss C.S. Sp.