“Happiness is to be found only in the home where God is loved and honored, where each one loves, and helps, and cares for the other.” ~ St. Theophane Venard
Heaven: Ground to Walk On
On Monday, March 4, 2013, I received a call that a 29 year old boy, Matthew J. Aloe of Upper St. Clair, who suffered with Muscular Dystrophy, was called home to God. Saturday, March 2 was the celebration of Matthew’s 29th year of life. The day after, on the Lord’s day, he received the greatest birthday gift of all - the gift of eternal life.
first met Matthew at age 7, when I listened to his first confession and gave him his first Holy Communion. I was there when he celebrated his first Mass in a wheelchair at the altar. It was fitting then, to come full circle, to be with his family at his funeral which was held at St. Thomas More Church in Bethel Park, PA. I was humbled and honored to be asked to preach the homily which follows:
During this 2013 Lenten pilgrimage, I’ve been reading “99 Blessings - an Invitation to Life” by Brother David Steindl-Rast, a Catholic Monk of the Benedictine order. He is known as a pioneer in the work of inner-faith dialogue and his promotion of the spiritual practice of gratefulness. He is co-founder of “A Network for Grateful Living” and his audio-video recordings can be found at www.gratefulness.org. He dedicates this work: “This little book is dedicated to all things, plants, animals, humans, and angels that made me blessed and able to bless.”
Brother David gives thanks for breath, dreams, colors, healing hands, friendships, departures, humility, tears, memory, the internet, birthdays, children’s toys, children’s questions and sleep. But I’d like to begin my homily by using Blessing #67: “Source of all blessings, you bless us with pilgrimage, be it to Mecca, Santiago, or Jerusalem, it doesn’t matter; not even getting there matters much, for every step is the goal, and what might seem of no importance takes on new significance: footgear, weather, singing, sweat, tiredness, silence, circumambulations. May I not use the image of life as a pilgrimage glibly. Every step is the goal. May I act this out.”
Along with Fr. Mark Eckman, Pastor of St. Thomas More, Fr. Joe Codori, everyone gathered here, those who could not be here, but are united in prayer and in spirit, we extend our heart-felt compassion in the assurances of our prayers at the loss of your dear and special Matthew. What a gift he was to us all.
When Matthew was born, he suffered complications of the heart. Around age 3 or 4, he was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy, a group of inherited disorders that involves muscle weakness and the loss of muscle tissue. This disease is passed down through families and can occur in childhood or adulthood. There are 7 types of Muscular Dystrophy. The most severe forms tend to occur in early childhood, though this disease can also affect adults. There are varying symptoms that go along with the different types. All the muscles can be affected, especially those around the face, shoulders and pelvis.
I was glad to have met Matthew as a pilgrim on the journey in my 2nd pastoral assignment at St. Thomas More. He taught me many lessons, as he taught each of us, because we walked together on this journey of life. One could easily ask the inscrutable question, “Why is life so unfair? Why isn’t there an equal playing field?” But we can’t be stuck in self-pity and self-loathing, but treasure the gift of life and walk with each other gracefully.
I always admired the Aloe family for their courage and their awareness of God’s presence, which is the foundation of their faith. Our God does not let His little ones suffer alone. He strengthens them so that the mighty waves of suffering do not engulf them. Their pain becomes the source of redemption for each and everyone of us. He surrounds them with love of their parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters, cousins and nephews, classmates and friends, neighbors and parishioners, the Make-a-Wish Foundation” (www.wish.org), and the Children’s Institute of Pittsburgh (www.amazingkids.org). The combination of prayers, faith, and thousands of people were instrumental in altering the course of Matthew’s life. Every parent can tell you that children can pack a lot of living into a single day. Courageous Matthew certainly packed a lot into his 29 years of life.
He loved life fully, confidently and fearlessly, knowing that God was with him and within him. During my years at St. Thomas More Parish (1992-1996), the St. Anthony Program for Exceptional Children was begun which insured that there would be inclusive education for all. I recall the principal of St. Thomas More School, John Yelenic, who treated each child as a special and unique gift from God and had an uncanny ability to see the image of God in each of them. As Matthew got older and had to go to class upstairs, John would hoist him over his shoulders, lifting him between classes. Like Fr. Flanagan’s “Boys Town” motto, “He’s not heavy, he’s my brother.”
At the funeral, it was amazing to feel such tremendous love from everywhere and everyone. It really lifted us up and made our burdens light. Matthew bore the name of the Gospel the family chose to have read: (Matthew 11:28-30) “Jesus said, ‘Come to me all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden light.’”
Matthew had a passion for knowledge, taking on-line courses, and surfed the internet via the tv. He enjoyed movies, museums, concerts, traveling, and fine-dining. He loved the Steelers. Matthew had courage and strength beyond his short 29 years. (Children teach us how to live.) We are grateful for what Matthew taught and brought. We are grateful for him, and our lives are better, holier and more complete for having known, loved and journeyed with him.
Currently, there is no cure for Muscular Dystrophy. But now in heaven, Matthew gets a new body without limitations and handicaps, with no braces, crutches or wheelchairs. We can confidently surrender him into the hands of our heavenly Father, knowing that He will take special care of him. He was interred at the Notre Dame Chapel at Queen of Heaven Cemetery in Peters Twp, PA. Following the funeral, we had lunch at Matthew’s favorite restaurant: Mitchells. We enjoyed his favorite dessert: 2 Oreo cookies and a Nestles Crunch Bar.
At the close of the day, may I give thanks for the presence of God, supporting me every step of the way
Monday, March 18, 2013
Standing up for Christ: No small matter
“The Holy Spirit rests in the soul of the righteous, just like the
dove in her nest. He hatches good desires and a pure soul, as
the dove hatches her young.” —St. John Vianney
Standing up for Christ: No small matter
Bishop Waltersheid’s homily was simple, sincere and
sound. His message was brief and to the point, hitting the
target right on; with few words, little fanfare and profound
clarity. He encouraged the young people to find their way
each Sunday to God’s house, because we are the body of
Christ. “The Church is everybody's spiritual home in the
neighborhood,” as the late Cardinal Bernardin, Archbishop
of Chicago often said. Everyone of us needs to hear and
heed the Gospel message of Jesus Christ through their
respective vocation from God.
“Holy Spirit, Spirit of truth, You are the Reward of the
saints, the Comforter of souls, Light in the darkness,
Riches to the poor, Treasure to lovers, Food for the
hungry, Comfort to those who are wandering; to sum
up, You are the One in whom all treasures are
contained.” —St. Mary Magdalene dei Pazzi.
dove in her nest. He hatches good desires and a pure soul, as
the dove hatches her young.” —St. John Vianney
Standing up for Christ: No small matter
On Saturday, March 2, 2013 at 10:00 am, Auxiliary Bishop
of Pittsburgh, William J. Waltersheid administered the
Sacrament of Confirmation to 25 young men and women
from St. Joseph Parish. Bishop Waltersheid was born
November 18, 1956 in Ashland, PA and ordained a priest
of the Diocese of Harrisburg on July 11, 1992. He was
named Auxiliary Bishop of Pittsburgh on February 25,
2011 and consecrated on April 25, 2011. He was
appointed Episcopal Vicar for Clergy and Secretary for
Clergy and Consecrated Life on April 26, 2011. He lived in
Rome for 11 years, as a student and as Vice Rector of
North American College, and speaks at least 6 languages.
He now resides at my favorite place, (next to the Consol
Energy Center, near Epiphany Church!)
of Pittsburgh, William J. Waltersheid administered the
Sacrament of Confirmation to 25 young men and women
from St. Joseph Parish. Bishop Waltersheid was born
November 18, 1956 in Ashland, PA and ordained a priest
of the Diocese of Harrisburg on July 11, 1992. He was
named Auxiliary Bishop of Pittsburgh on February 25,
2011 and consecrated on April 25, 2011. He was
appointed Episcopal Vicar for Clergy and Secretary for
Clergy and Consecrated Life on April 26, 2011. He lived in
Rome for 11 years, as a student and as Vice Rector of
North American College, and speaks at least 6 languages.
He now resides at my favorite place, (next to the Consol
Energy Center, near Epiphany Church!)
The Bishop is 5’2”, and has a beautiful singing voice,
which filled the rafters of our church. One parishioner
remarked, “I couldn’t see the Bishop, but I certainly could
hear him!” He was a breath of fresh air, and commented
that this was a grace filled day for the Church, the
Diocese, the Parish, the parents, the family and for the
Confirmation Candidates.
which filled the rafters of our church. One parishioner
remarked, “I couldn’t see the Bishop, but I certainly could
hear him!” He was a breath of fresh air, and commented
that this was a grace filled day for the Church, the
Diocese, the Parish, the parents, the family and for the
Confirmation Candidates.
Bishop Waltersheid’s homily was simple, sincere and
sound. His message was brief and to the point, hitting the
target right on; with few words, little fanfare and profound
clarity. He encouraged the young people to find their way
each Sunday to God’s house, because we are the body of
Christ. “The Church is everybody's spiritual home in the
neighborhood,” as the late Cardinal Bernardin, Archbishop
of Chicago often said. Everyone of us needs to hear and
heed the Gospel message of Jesus Christ through their
respective vocation from God.
The Bishop stressed that each of the candidates has a
‘special and unique calling from God,’ and that some of
them would be called to serve the Church in ministry as a
priest, giving their lives in total sacrifice out of love,
mirroring Christ's love for his body, the Church. He said
that some of the young women would dedicate and
consecrate their lives to embrace the evangelical councils
of poverty, chastity and obedience, as brides of the
Church, giving ‘spiritual birth’ through the witness of their
lives. He then commented that many of them would
commit their lives in the holy Sacrament of Marriage to a
‘life-long commitment’ of fidelity, conjugal love and the
raising of a family in holiness, grace and love.
He encouraged the youngsters to avail themselves
regularly to the Sacrament of Reconciliation, as it is the
‘key to discipleship.’ As the patron of parish priests, St.
John Mary Vianney said: “Put yourself on good terms
with God: have recourse to the Sacrament of
Penance; you will sleep as quietly as an angel.”
The Bishop highlighted the importance of prayer; spending
time with God to hear the voice within us, in a world that
‘special and unique calling from God,’ and that some of
them would be called to serve the Church in ministry as a
priest, giving their lives in total sacrifice out of love,
mirroring Christ's love for his body, the Church. He said
that some of the young women would dedicate and
consecrate their lives to embrace the evangelical councils
of poverty, chastity and obedience, as brides of the
Church, giving ‘spiritual birth’ through the witness of their
lives. He then commented that many of them would
commit their lives in the holy Sacrament of Marriage to a
‘life-long commitment’ of fidelity, conjugal love and the
raising of a family in holiness, grace and love.
He encouraged the youngsters to avail themselves
regularly to the Sacrament of Reconciliation, as it is the
‘key to discipleship.’ As the patron of parish priests, St.
John Mary Vianney said: “Put yourself on good terms
with God: have recourse to the Sacrament of
Penance; you will sleep as quietly as an angel.”
The Bishop highlighted the importance of prayer; spending
time with God to hear the voice within us, in a world that
bombards us with much temptation, and challenges us in
many ways. We must be faithful first to God, through the
power of the Holy Spirit, our ‘best life-long friend.’ We
must work on that friendship our entire lives.
many ways. We must be faithful first to God, through the
power of the Holy Spirit, our ‘best life-long friend.’ We
must work on that friendship our entire lives.
As the Bishop administered the sacrament, he anointed
them with Chrism by sealing them on their foreheads with
the Sign of the Cross, confirming their Baptism, and
strengthening them to receive the fullness of the Spirit.
Anointing the forehead, the Bishop said, “Be sealed with
the gift of the Holy Spirit.” The newly confirmed
responded, “Amen.” The Bishop then said, “Peace be
with you.” The newly confirmed responded, “And with
your spirit.”
them with Chrism by sealing them on their foreheads with
the Sign of the Cross, confirming their Baptism, and
strengthening them to receive the fullness of the Spirit.
Anointing the forehead, the Bishop said, “Be sealed with
the gift of the Holy Spirit.” The newly confirmed
responded, “Amen.” The Bishop then said, “Peace be
with you.” The newly confirmed responded, “And with
your spirit.”
In lieu of shaking the hands of the Confirmation
Candidates and sponsors, the Bishop gestured with a slap
on the face, which means to get stronger spiritually, to be
a soldier of Christ, it’s spiritual warfare - a great battle
between good and evil. In Jesus, God brings good from
evil, success from failure, victory from defeat and life from
death. [May you have strength in your resolve to make
choices that lead you to witness to Christ, his Gospel and
the coming of his Kingdom.] The Bishop reminded the
young people that their actions speak louder than their
words ever will. They will know the fruits through their
deeds. A Christian must be a ‘living sermon’, whether or
not they preach a word. The Bishop’s hands were washed
with water, lemons and he also used stale bread to absorb
the Oil of Chrism.
Candidates and sponsors, the Bishop gestured with a slap
on the face, which means to get stronger spiritually, to be
a soldier of Christ, it’s spiritual warfare - a great battle
between good and evil. In Jesus, God brings good from
evil, success from failure, victory from defeat and life from
death. [May you have strength in your resolve to make
choices that lead you to witness to Christ, his Gospel and
the coming of his Kingdom.] The Bishop reminded the
young people that their actions speak louder than their
words ever will. They will know the fruits through their
deeds. A Christian must be a ‘living sermon’, whether or
not they preach a word. The Bishop’s hands were washed
with water, lemons and he also used stale bread to absorb
the Oil of Chrism.
The candidates were well-prepared by 8th Grade
Catechist, John Sambolt, who has been instructing young
people in our CCD program for 42 years. The Arts and
Environment Committee decorated the sanctuary simply
but stunningly, with red altar cloths, flowers and Holy Spirit
banners. I asked them to leave the banners in our
sanctuary for the Third Sunday of Lent liturgies, as they
remind us that God gives us strength for our weakness,
wisdom for our foolishness, direction for our drifting,
grace for our trials, love for our hate, peace for our
anxiety, plenty for our poverty, clarity for our
confusion, healing for our pain and light for our
darkness.
Catechist, John Sambolt, who has been instructing young
people in our CCD program for 42 years. The Arts and
Environment Committee decorated the sanctuary simply
but stunningly, with red altar cloths, flowers and Holy Spirit
banners. I asked them to leave the banners in our
sanctuary for the Third Sunday of Lent liturgies, as they
remind us that God gives us strength for our weakness,
wisdom for our foolishness, direction for our drifting,
grace for our trials, love for our hate, peace for our
anxiety, plenty for our poverty, clarity for our
confusion, healing for our pain and light for our
darkness.
Afterwards, the Bishop took pictures with the newly
confirmed in Healy Hall, where they were served red
punch and a delectable array of cookies. It was nice to
see different generations passing on the treasure of faith.
confirmed in Healy Hall, where they were served red
punch and a delectable array of cookies. It was nice to
see different generations passing on the treasure of faith.
Despite March’s mighty ‘lion’s roar’ and winter’s ice and
snow that descended that morning, after the hour-long
celebration of Confirmation, the warmth of the Holy Spirit
thawed and melted the cold morning into a new day of
newly committed disciples.
snow that descended that morning, after the hour-long
celebration of Confirmation, the warmth of the Holy Spirit
thawed and melted the cold morning into a new day of
newly committed disciples.
“Holy Spirit, Spirit of truth, You are the Reward of the
saints, the Comforter of souls, Light in the darkness,
Riches to the poor, Treasure to lovers, Food for the
hungry, Comfort to those who are wandering; to sum
up, You are the One in whom all treasures are
contained.” —St. Mary Magdalene dei Pazzi.
Monday, March 11, 2013
From the Heights of Hockey to Holy Ground
“Three things in human life are important: the first, to be kind; the second, to be kind; and the third, to be kind.”
-Henry James, American Author (1843-1916)
From the Heights of Hockey to Holy Ground
As a long-time and avid hockey fan of our ‘hometown’ Pittsburgh Penguins, I was recently offered an invitation to sit in one of the 66 private boxes in the Consol Energy Center on Friday, February 22, when the Pens beat the Florida Panthers 3-1. I jumped at the invitation! There are 66 boxes at the arena to honor the long-time Captain of the Pens, Mario Lemieux. Aloft a perched view, and looking down at the ice where the Pens shoot twice, I took in every moment of the practice prior to the game. From that vantage point, you can easily see the HD center ice scoreboard, which is the focal point of high tech entertainment. There are 360 degree rings that encircle the lower and upper seating bowls, making it a first of its kind seating experience for Pittsburgh!
There was a parking pass that accompanied the tickets that allowed easy accessibility from the Verizon gate to level 4 of the arena. As the usher escorted us into the box, he explained all the delights and privileges that go along with this preferred seating. He opened the door of the refrigerator, revealing a wide array of beverages: iced tea, lemonade, pop, beers, wine and bottles of water. There, on top of the tables were select cheeses, popcorn, nachos, potato chips and the like. There was an expansive selection of fruits such as kiwi, pineapple, honeydew, cantaloupe, strawberries and grapes, which were deliciously refreshing to our thirsty palates.
We were treated to a chef-prepared buffet, kept warm on hot plates, which consisted of chicken, pork, sausage and other choice meats. Since it was Friday, and I’m a Catholic priest, the hosting couple contacted the Pens to make sure fish was available and on the menu, too! I appreciated them going to these lengths for Catholics on a Friday night. I was appreciative of the lay leaders back home at St. Joseph who led the Stations of the Cross, where there were about 100 people in attendance. While they were praying the Stations, I was praying for the Pens!
There were 12 guests in the box, who all worked together at the same company. I was proud to be part of the mix of their friends and coworkers. They introduced me as their priest and spiritual advisor. I always liked that the late Fr. James Armstrong was the Chaplain of the NHL and knew all the Penguins through their long hockey careers. Part of the box was like the sunshine state of Florida, and was very warm. The lower part, however, was more like Fairbanks, AK, where my friend, Bishop Don Kettler lives—a bit more ‘arctic’. I found myself oscillating between the arctic climate to watch the game, and the warm climate so to mingle and talk with the guests. It was a nice mix! Sitting in the large blue seats was like sitting in the first class section of a large aircraft.
In the 3rd period, a cart arrived displaying the finest desserts: cheesecake, chocolate mousse, different layered cakes and candies. That was the ultimate in Lenten temptation. I must confess that I passed on the dessert cart and went back to my popcorn and chips. The whole night was a victory all the way around. The only downer was the center iceman, Evgeni Malkin, the Pen’s Russian star, going down with concussion like symptoms after being knocked against the boards. It was a hockey fan’s dream, which I didn’t want to end.
As I walked through the corridors of the lounge, and saw the legends off Penguins’ hockey and all their accomplishments, as a long-time devotee of the team, it was a profound and peak experience, an unforgettable moment and a time I will not soon forget. From that vantage point of being in a ‘watch tower,’ it made me think that prophets must see the world from a different perspective. Faith is the ‘prism’ from which we see all the facets and pieces of our lives coming together. We think of all the players in the game of our lives: our prophets and parents; our teachers and pastors as our brothers and sisters; friends and neighbors; colleagues and coworkers; parishioners and faith companions. Each are an integral part of the path to our own holiness. As the Israelite leader, Moses stood before the burning bush that would not extinguish, we are reminded of the gift of faith, and how it must always light the path for others. Like Moses, we are on ‘holy ground.’ We have holy time, holy friends and holy hands, in which to offer holy prayers to God. When we walk on holy ground, we are aware of God’s loving presence. We carry the ‘burning bush’ in our hearts: the fire of the Holy Spirit. May it be with the 25 young people confirmed this weekend. May it lead them in their decisions and relationships to futures of faith and hope.
I appreciate God calling me to preach His Good News, when sometimes the bad news of life can distort our perspective of faith. No life is immune from disease, violence, tragedy, accidents or loss. God continues to plant us in the midst of opportunities, to move beyond our hurts and pains, to make things right. God is constantly giving us second chances to bear fruit. During this season of Lent we are invited, challenged and encouraged to be more faithful and fruitful. Each of us has a mission to do the will of God on earth. The parable of the fig tree (Luke 13:1-9), reminds us that our God is faithful and patient. He wants us to continue to till, garden and hoe the soil of our hearts in the time that we have, through the circumstances and conditions of our lives that compel us to change more and more into His image and likeness. But we must ‘cut out’ the barrenness of sin that leaves us empty, for cut off from God, we are fruitless and useless, like the barren fig tree. But attached to God, we are fruitful and life-giving. We must therefore embrace Christ’s call to be fruit-bearing, through forgiveness, compassion, conversion, reconciliation and love, which gives witness to our faithful discipleship. We continue to be a ‘work in progress’ and God’s grace calls us to new heights of goodness.
May we continue to bear the sweet fruit of the Gospel by living faithfully, and humbly, in the vineyard of the world that God has entrusted to us for the coming of His Kingdom. As the Pens look to lift Lord Stanley for the 4th time this Spring, help us to lift high the Cross for our brothers and sisters.
-Henry James, American Author (1843-1916)
From the Heights of Hockey to Holy Ground
As a long-time and avid hockey fan of our ‘hometown’ Pittsburgh Penguins, I was recently offered an invitation to sit in one of the 66 private boxes in the Consol Energy Center on Friday, February 22, when the Pens beat the Florida Panthers 3-1. I jumped at the invitation! There are 66 boxes at the arena to honor the long-time Captain of the Pens, Mario Lemieux. Aloft a perched view, and looking down at the ice where the Pens shoot twice, I took in every moment of the practice prior to the game. From that vantage point, you can easily see the HD center ice scoreboard, which is the focal point of high tech entertainment. There are 360 degree rings that encircle the lower and upper seating bowls, making it a first of its kind seating experience for Pittsburgh!
There was a parking pass that accompanied the tickets that allowed easy accessibility from the Verizon gate to level 4 of the arena. As the usher escorted us into the box, he explained all the delights and privileges that go along with this preferred seating. He opened the door of the refrigerator, revealing a wide array of beverages: iced tea, lemonade, pop, beers, wine and bottles of water. There, on top of the tables were select cheeses, popcorn, nachos, potato chips and the like. There was an expansive selection of fruits such as kiwi, pineapple, honeydew, cantaloupe, strawberries and grapes, which were deliciously refreshing to our thirsty palates.
We were treated to a chef-prepared buffet, kept warm on hot plates, which consisted of chicken, pork, sausage and other choice meats. Since it was Friday, and I’m a Catholic priest, the hosting couple contacted the Pens to make sure fish was available and on the menu, too! I appreciated them going to these lengths for Catholics on a Friday night. I was appreciative of the lay leaders back home at St. Joseph who led the Stations of the Cross, where there were about 100 people in attendance. While they were praying the Stations, I was praying for the Pens!
There were 12 guests in the box, who all worked together at the same company. I was proud to be part of the mix of their friends and coworkers. They introduced me as their priest and spiritual advisor. I always liked that the late Fr. James Armstrong was the Chaplain of the NHL and knew all the Penguins through their long hockey careers. Part of the box was like the sunshine state of Florida, and was very warm. The lower part, however, was more like Fairbanks, AK, where my friend, Bishop Don Kettler lives—a bit more ‘arctic’. I found myself oscillating between the arctic climate to watch the game, and the warm climate so to mingle and talk with the guests. It was a nice mix! Sitting in the large blue seats was like sitting in the first class section of a large aircraft.
In the 3rd period, a cart arrived displaying the finest desserts: cheesecake, chocolate mousse, different layered cakes and candies. That was the ultimate in Lenten temptation. I must confess that I passed on the dessert cart and went back to my popcorn and chips. The whole night was a victory all the way around. The only downer was the center iceman, Evgeni Malkin, the Pen’s Russian star, going down with concussion like symptoms after being knocked against the boards. It was a hockey fan’s dream, which I didn’t want to end.
As I walked through the corridors of the lounge, and saw the legends off Penguins’ hockey and all their accomplishments, as a long-time devotee of the team, it was a profound and peak experience, an unforgettable moment and a time I will not soon forget. From that vantage point of being in a ‘watch tower,’ it made me think that prophets must see the world from a different perspective. Faith is the ‘prism’ from which we see all the facets and pieces of our lives coming together. We think of all the players in the game of our lives: our prophets and parents; our teachers and pastors as our brothers and sisters; friends and neighbors; colleagues and coworkers; parishioners and faith companions. Each are an integral part of the path to our own holiness. As the Israelite leader, Moses stood before the burning bush that would not extinguish, we are reminded of the gift of faith, and how it must always light the path for others. Like Moses, we are on ‘holy ground.’ We have holy time, holy friends and holy hands, in which to offer holy prayers to God. When we walk on holy ground, we are aware of God’s loving presence. We carry the ‘burning bush’ in our hearts: the fire of the Holy Spirit. May it be with the 25 young people confirmed this weekend. May it lead them in their decisions and relationships to futures of faith and hope.
I appreciate God calling me to preach His Good News, when sometimes the bad news of life can distort our perspective of faith. No life is immune from disease, violence, tragedy, accidents or loss. God continues to plant us in the midst of opportunities, to move beyond our hurts and pains, to make things right. God is constantly giving us second chances to bear fruit. During this season of Lent we are invited, challenged and encouraged to be more faithful and fruitful. Each of us has a mission to do the will of God on earth. The parable of the fig tree (Luke 13:1-9), reminds us that our God is faithful and patient. He wants us to continue to till, garden and hoe the soil of our hearts in the time that we have, through the circumstances and conditions of our lives that compel us to change more and more into His image and likeness. But we must ‘cut out’ the barrenness of sin that leaves us empty, for cut off from God, we are fruitless and useless, like the barren fig tree. But attached to God, we are fruitful and life-giving. We must therefore embrace Christ’s call to be fruit-bearing, through forgiveness, compassion, conversion, reconciliation and love, which gives witness to our faithful discipleship. We continue to be a ‘work in progress’ and God’s grace calls us to new heights of goodness.
May we continue to bear the sweet fruit of the Gospel by living faithfully, and humbly, in the vineyard of the world that God has entrusted to us for the coming of His Kingdom. As the Pens look to lift Lord Stanley for the 4th time this Spring, help us to lift high the Cross for our brothers and sisters.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Priests at a Class
“Almost all problems in the spiritual life stem from a lack of self-knowledge.” St. Teresa of Avila
Along with 30 priests from our diocese, January 29– February 1, I began a 2 year program entitled, “Good Leaders—Good Shepherds”, offered by the Catholic Leadership Institute This is a national program which been in existence for 11 years. The 12th bishop of Pittsburgh, David Zubik is on the board and strongly encourages all his priests to embrace the call to be good leaders, after the Good Shepherd, Jesus Christ. He believed that it would be beneficial and helpful to all of his priests in order to equip them with the skills necessary to meet the challenging demands of ministry today. The rewards are that we would be more holy happy and healthy shepherds of engaged and vibrant parish communities, to lead effectively with Jesus Christ. This is the 3rd Cohort of priests in the Diocese of Pittsburgh to attend this program. I am glad to be in this cohort, as they keep fine-tuning the skills for this process.
The class is divided into 6 modules:
1. Self Preparation for Leadership: Discovering your ‘DiscPosition’, values, persona (masks), and core.
2. Leadership in Self Context: Time and life balance, self-motivation, solicit and receive effective feedback.
3. Leadership in the One-to-One context: Give effective feedback, conflict resolution, behaviors and versatility among parish leaders.
4. Leadership in the Team Context: Facilitate team dynamics, solve problems and make decisions in teams, structure effective meetings. Leadership in context of coaching clinic.
5. Leadership in the Organizational Context
6. Leadership in the Relational Context
In Module 1, our Learning Leaders were Lucille Smith, a widow and mother of 3 children, from the Diocese of Harrisburg, PA; Fr. Ed Dover, a priest from the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, CA and Tim Gavin, a Learning Leader, and a married man from the Philadelphia area. Since I have always enjoyed being a life-long learner, I embraced this call fully, to learn new things and lifeline skills, in order to fall in love again with the vocation that God has called me to in His priesthood. In any walk of life, we must continue to grow. If you don’t know where you’re going in life, any road will get you there.
In the Program of Priestly Formation, 5th Edition, USCCB, 2006, paragraph #238, it states: “To be a true ‘shepherd of souls’ means standing with and for Christ. In the community, the Christ who teaches and sanctifies and guides or leads the community. The grace to be a shepherd comes with ordination. That grace, however, calls for a priest’s personal commitment to develop the knowledge and the skills to teach and preach well, to celebrate the sacraments both properly and prayerfully and to respond to people’s needs as well as to take initiatives in the community that holy leadership requires.”
There is a nice cross-section of priests in our cohort. We learned to be respectful of our personality type after taking a diagnostic assessment. We also had a cross-section of people from work, social and family members do an evaluation of how they perceive us. Lo and behold, Bishop Zubik and I just happen to share the same personality type! It is important to honor who you are and honor who others are. It is important that we don't stereotype or box people in to one label. Each ‘DiscPosition’ works for us and against us. However, our values direct our behaviors. There are 4 basic personality types: extrovert/introvert, and controlling/accepting.
In the fall of 1980, at the tender age of 18, I began the discerning process at St. Paul Seminary, to be a priest. 33 years later, in 2013, at the age of 50, I am coming to get re-tooled, re-equipped, and re-committed to this vocation. Sitting at my table were contemporaries of my seminary days. One comes to a healthy appreciation and respect that we serve the call to serve God’s people in different ways and places. Despite the challenges and changes; joys ad frustrations, hopes and disillusionments, one rejoices that God uniquely called us to the ordained ministry to serve the Church.
There was time for Morning and Evening Prayer, Mass, socialization and meals together. They even served popcorn at the movies we viewed, which were: “Oscar Romero, the Bishop of San Salvador” (19, “12 Angry Men” starring Henry Fonda (1956), “The Lion King” (19..)
On the last day there was ‘Honorable Closure’. They asked each priest: What did you learn? What will you remember? What can you apply to your ministry? I was most inspired by the brother priest who had the courage to say, I’ve been at a parish for several years now. And I felt that I was in over my head there, inadequate and ill-equipped for the large number of souls in that parish. I was a bit apprehensive about leading a large pastoral care team.
After brooding, loathing, going in circles, and feeling out of his comfort zone, after the first week of the Good Shepherd program, a light switch went off in him, that a new revelation that God put him there for a reason and God will not allow opposition to have the upper hand in his life. That, God, who called him, is with him in the struggle, in times of doubt, fear and discouragement.
God is with us IN the struggle, and has our backs. Even in times when we feel, like Peter, that our efforts are futile and meaningless. We can all become impatient like Peter, easily discouraged, and ready to throw in the towel. Yet, the Lord just wants us to go back and be faithful even when we don’t see apparent or visible results for our efforts. Confession reminds us that God doesn’t give up on us, and we must not give up on others. It’s never too late for salvation.
At the end of the week we were asked to write our own Mission Statements I was asked to share mine with the class so I thought I would share it with you:
“My purpose in life is to use my enthusiasm and care, to help others grow in faith, in Jesus Christ, and His Gospel, for themselves and others, so that they would embrace the Great Commandment to love God and neighbor, most fully in every day life. And that we would pray for each other, as we seek to serve each other out of love for Christ, more gracefully and faithfully, day by day.”
Along with 30 priests from our diocese, January 29– February 1, I began a 2 year program entitled, “Good Leaders—Good Shepherds”, offered by the Catholic Leadership Institute This is a national program which been in existence for 11 years. The 12th bishop of Pittsburgh, David Zubik is on the board and strongly encourages all his priests to embrace the call to be good leaders, after the Good Shepherd, Jesus Christ. He believed that it would be beneficial and helpful to all of his priests in order to equip them with the skills necessary to meet the challenging demands of ministry today. The rewards are that we would be more holy happy and healthy shepherds of engaged and vibrant parish communities, to lead effectively with Jesus Christ. This is the 3rd Cohort of priests in the Diocese of Pittsburgh to attend this program. I am glad to be in this cohort, as they keep fine-tuning the skills for this process.
The class is divided into 6 modules:
1. Self Preparation for Leadership: Discovering your ‘DiscPosition’, values, persona (masks), and core.
2. Leadership in Self Context: Time and life balance, self-motivation, solicit and receive effective feedback.
3. Leadership in the One-to-One context: Give effective feedback, conflict resolution, behaviors and versatility among parish leaders.
4. Leadership in the Team Context: Facilitate team dynamics, solve problems and make decisions in teams, structure effective meetings. Leadership in context of coaching clinic.
5. Leadership in the Organizational Context
6. Leadership in the Relational Context
In Module 1, our Learning Leaders were Lucille Smith, a widow and mother of 3 children, from the Diocese of Harrisburg, PA; Fr. Ed Dover, a priest from the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, CA and Tim Gavin, a Learning Leader, and a married man from the Philadelphia area. Since I have always enjoyed being a life-long learner, I embraced this call fully, to learn new things and lifeline skills, in order to fall in love again with the vocation that God has called me to in His priesthood. In any walk of life, we must continue to grow. If you don’t know where you’re going in life, any road will get you there.
In the Program of Priestly Formation, 5th Edition, USCCB, 2006, paragraph #238, it states: “To be a true ‘shepherd of souls’ means standing with and for Christ. In the community, the Christ who teaches and sanctifies and guides or leads the community. The grace to be a shepherd comes with ordination. That grace, however, calls for a priest’s personal commitment to develop the knowledge and the skills to teach and preach well, to celebrate the sacraments both properly and prayerfully and to respond to people’s needs as well as to take initiatives in the community that holy leadership requires.”
There is a nice cross-section of priests in our cohort. We learned to be respectful of our personality type after taking a diagnostic assessment. We also had a cross-section of people from work, social and family members do an evaluation of how they perceive us. Lo and behold, Bishop Zubik and I just happen to share the same personality type! It is important to honor who you are and honor who others are. It is important that we don't stereotype or box people in to one label. Each ‘DiscPosition’ works for us and against us. However, our values direct our behaviors. There are 4 basic personality types: extrovert/introvert, and controlling/accepting.
In the fall of 1980, at the tender age of 18, I began the discerning process at St. Paul Seminary, to be a priest. 33 years later, in 2013, at the age of 50, I am coming to get re-tooled, re-equipped, and re-committed to this vocation. Sitting at my table were contemporaries of my seminary days. One comes to a healthy appreciation and respect that we serve the call to serve God’s people in different ways and places. Despite the challenges and changes; joys ad frustrations, hopes and disillusionments, one rejoices that God uniquely called us to the ordained ministry to serve the Church.
There was time for Morning and Evening Prayer, Mass, socialization and meals together. They even served popcorn at the movies we viewed, which were: “Oscar Romero, the Bishop of San Salvador” (19, “12 Angry Men” starring Henry Fonda (1956), “The Lion King” (19..)
On the last day there was ‘Honorable Closure’. They asked each priest: What did you learn? What will you remember? What can you apply to your ministry? I was most inspired by the brother priest who had the courage to say, I’ve been at a parish for several years now. And I felt that I was in over my head there, inadequate and ill-equipped for the large number of souls in that parish. I was a bit apprehensive about leading a large pastoral care team.
After brooding, loathing, going in circles, and feeling out of his comfort zone, after the first week of the Good Shepherd program, a light switch went off in him, that a new revelation that God put him there for a reason and God will not allow opposition to have the upper hand in his life. That, God, who called him, is with him in the struggle, in times of doubt, fear and discouragement.
God is with us IN the struggle, and has our backs. Even in times when we feel, like Peter, that our efforts are futile and meaningless. We can all become impatient like Peter, easily discouraged, and ready to throw in the towel. Yet, the Lord just wants us to go back and be faithful even when we don’t see apparent or visible results for our efforts. Confession reminds us that God doesn’t give up on us, and we must not give up on others. It’s never too late for salvation.
At the end of the week we were asked to write our own Mission Statements I was asked to share mine with the class so I thought I would share it with you:
“My purpose in life is to use my enthusiasm and care, to help others grow in faith, in Jesus Christ, and His Gospel, for themselves and others, so that they would embrace the Great Commandment to love God and neighbor, most fully in every day life. And that we would pray for each other, as we seek to serve each other out of love for Christ, more gracefully and faithfully, day by day.”
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Love’s Call - Deep Commitment
“You are the Body of Christ. In you and through you the work of the incarnation must go forward. You are meant to incarnate in your lives the theme of your adoration-you are to be taken, blessed, broken, and distributed, that you may be the means of grace and vehicles of Eternal Charity.”
—St. Augustine of Hippo
Love’s Call - Deep Commitment
On Saturday, January 26, 2013, we hosted 68 couples for Pre-Cana instructions and preparation for marriage here at St. Joseph Parish. These classes are held 3 times per year at St. Joseph. It is a tremendous grace to share road maps, important topics, faith witness and wisdom-experience. As one presenting couple said, “You get a university education in having children! We should always bow in respect and appreciation for the 2,000 year history and longevity for the Catholic Church, that guides, teaches and forms us into being the people that God wants us to be.”
Like the call of the Prophet Jeremiah, (Chapter 1), God assures the prophet in many powerful ways by “I” statements: “I formed you;” “I knew you;” “I consecrated you;” “I appointed you;” “I command you;” “I am with you.” As God assures Jeremiah, He assures each of us and supports us to answer the call to be faithful to God, to others and ourselves - for this is the ‘zenith’ of love in any Christian vocation.
We hear of Paul’s “Hymn of Love’ that is often read at weddings. (1 Cor 12:31,13:13) Paul reminds us that Godly love is only possible through the presence and the dynamic power of the Holy Spirit, active and alive in our lives. God’s grace empowers us to love in greater measure. Love is a mystery. It begins and ends with God. Love is the source of the call of every Christian vocation. Love is an awareness of living in the holy presence of God each day. Love is to be free of sin. Love is growing in faith and prayer. Love is not always easy. Love is inclusive, never excluding. Love is the sacred vessel in which hearts heal the world. Love demands sacrifice, suffering, sanctity and service.
St. Paul writes, “If I have no love, I have nothing.” (1 Cor 13:2) “Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous, conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered, selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; its faith, hope and patience never fail. Love is eternal. (1 Cor 13:4-8) ...and three things remain: faith, hope and love, and the greatest of these is love.” (1 Cor 13:13)
At the end of the day the participants are invited to give their comments on an evaluation sheet. There, at the bottom of one sheet, where the positive and negative comments, the strengths and weaknesses of the program are stated, was the comment, “Why do we have to go to church?” (The Pre-Cana day begins at 8:00 am and ends at 5:00 pm following Mass.) It made me think about a woman, who went to see her doctor with a whole list of complaints. She gave an “organ recital” of all the ailments plaguing her organs. But the doctor could find no real physical ailment upon examining her. He suspected that the woman’s negative outlook on life was her real problem. The doc got up from his desk and pointed to a shelf filled with bottles and said to the woman, “Look at these bottles. All of them are empty. I can take one of them and fill it with poison, enough to kill a human being. Or I can take the same bottle and fill it with medicine, enough to cure a headache or bring down a fever, or kill bacteria. The next thing, is that I make the choice. I can fill each bottle with something hurtful or with something helpful.” The doctor looked the patient in the eye and said, “Each day that God gives us is like one of those empty bottles. We can choose to fill it with positive thoughts that lift us and others; or we can fill it with negative thoughts that depress us and everyone else. The choice is ours.”
God’s love is the source of our call, the unity of our vocation, and the healer of our souls. I reminded the engaged couples that the closer we are to Jesus, the more loving we will be toward others. At the high points and low points of our lives, God is always with us.
You build in the hearts of fathers
The love for their sons and their daughters.
But infinitely more marvelous, Lord,
Is your love for us, your sons and your daughters.
Thank you for loving us in this way!
You create in the hearts of mothers
The tenderness for their children.
But infinitely more marvelous, Lord,
Is your love for us, your children.
Thank you for loving us in this way!
You raise up in the heart of a husband
The love for the wife of his youth.
But infinitely more marvelous, Lord,
Is your love for your Church, your fiancée.
Thank you for loving us in this way!
You awaken in the heart of all
The desire for a universal family.
But infinitely more marvelous, Lord,
Is your love which gathers all your children
Into Your Kingdom.
Thank you for loving us in this way!
Teach us, O Lord, to take time
To admire the splendor of the lilies of the field,
To listen to the song of the nightingale,
To discover in your creation the signs of your Providence.
We will worry no more about tomorrow
Which will be the first day of eternity.
We will trust in your love
Today, tomorrow, and forever and ever. Amen.
—Fr. Lucien Deiss, c.s.sp.
From the book, “A Garden of Prayers”
—St. Augustine of Hippo
Love’s Call - Deep Commitment
On Saturday, January 26, 2013, we hosted 68 couples for Pre-Cana instructions and preparation for marriage here at St. Joseph Parish. These classes are held 3 times per year at St. Joseph. It is a tremendous grace to share road maps, important topics, faith witness and wisdom-experience. As one presenting couple said, “You get a university education in having children! We should always bow in respect and appreciation for the 2,000 year history and longevity for the Catholic Church, that guides, teaches and forms us into being the people that God wants us to be.”
Like the call of the Prophet Jeremiah, (Chapter 1), God assures the prophet in many powerful ways by “I” statements: “I formed you;” “I knew you;” “I consecrated you;” “I appointed you;” “I command you;” “I am with you.” As God assures Jeremiah, He assures each of us and supports us to answer the call to be faithful to God, to others and ourselves - for this is the ‘zenith’ of love in any Christian vocation.
We hear of Paul’s “Hymn of Love’ that is often read at weddings. (1 Cor 12:31,13:13) Paul reminds us that Godly love is only possible through the presence and the dynamic power of the Holy Spirit, active and alive in our lives. God’s grace empowers us to love in greater measure. Love is a mystery. It begins and ends with God. Love is the source of the call of every Christian vocation. Love is an awareness of living in the holy presence of God each day. Love is to be free of sin. Love is growing in faith and prayer. Love is not always easy. Love is inclusive, never excluding. Love is the sacred vessel in which hearts heal the world. Love demands sacrifice, suffering, sanctity and service.
St. Paul writes, “If I have no love, I have nothing.” (1 Cor 13:2) “Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous, conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered, selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; its faith, hope and patience never fail. Love is eternal. (1 Cor 13:4-8) ...and three things remain: faith, hope and love, and the greatest of these is love.” (1 Cor 13:13)
At the end of the day the participants are invited to give their comments on an evaluation sheet. There, at the bottom of one sheet, where the positive and negative comments, the strengths and weaknesses of the program are stated, was the comment, “Why do we have to go to church?” (The Pre-Cana day begins at 8:00 am and ends at 5:00 pm following Mass.) It made me think about a woman, who went to see her doctor with a whole list of complaints. She gave an “organ recital” of all the ailments plaguing her organs. But the doctor could find no real physical ailment upon examining her. He suspected that the woman’s negative outlook on life was her real problem. The doc got up from his desk and pointed to a shelf filled with bottles and said to the woman, “Look at these bottles. All of them are empty. I can take one of them and fill it with poison, enough to kill a human being. Or I can take the same bottle and fill it with medicine, enough to cure a headache or bring down a fever, or kill bacteria. The next thing, is that I make the choice. I can fill each bottle with something hurtful or with something helpful.” The doctor looked the patient in the eye and said, “Each day that God gives us is like one of those empty bottles. We can choose to fill it with positive thoughts that lift us and others; or we can fill it with negative thoughts that depress us and everyone else. The choice is ours.”
God’s love is the source of our call, the unity of our vocation, and the healer of our souls. I reminded the engaged couples that the closer we are to Jesus, the more loving we will be toward others. At the high points and low points of our lives, God is always with us.
You Build Love
You build in the hearts of fathers
The love for their sons and their daughters.
But infinitely more marvelous, Lord,
Is your love for us, your sons and your daughters.
Thank you for loving us in this way!
You create in the hearts of mothers
The tenderness for their children.
But infinitely more marvelous, Lord,
Is your love for us, your children.
Thank you for loving us in this way!
You raise up in the heart of a husband
The love for the wife of his youth.
But infinitely more marvelous, Lord,
Is your love for your Church, your fiancée.
Thank you for loving us in this way!
You awaken in the heart of all
The desire for a universal family.
But infinitely more marvelous, Lord,
Is your love which gathers all your children
Into Your Kingdom.
Thank you for loving us in this way!
Teach us, O Lord, to take time
To admire the splendor of the lilies of the field,
To listen to the song of the nightingale,
To discover in your creation the signs of your Providence.
We will worry no more about tomorrow
Which will be the first day of eternity.
We will trust in your love
Today, tomorrow, and forever and ever. Amen.
—Fr. Lucien Deiss, c.s.sp.
From the book, “A Garden of Prayers”
Sunday, January 27, 2013
God called, and Mom was ready!
“Life for me means Christ: death is as a prize to be won.” —Phil 1:21
God called, and Mom was ready!
My homiletics’ professor, Fr. Thomas J. Byrd at Mt. St. Mary Seminary in Emmitsburg, MD told us that we have 7 minutes to make people laugh, cry and feel religious. The more that we do that, the more God’s grace will touch His people. My other homiletics’ professor was my Mom! She would always say:
“Do not be too loud.” (Tone it down but light a fire!)” She was a gentile person—never boisterous or loud. Fr. Paul Zywan, whose mom lived at the Home, remarked that his mom loved being with mine because she was serene, silent and peaceful.
“Do not grow lazy!” (Heb 6:12) Laziness was never in Mom’s vocabulary. To be lazy is to be a loser. Mom wanted new stuff… new material. She would say, “Do your homework!” She reminded us that our work is important and meaningful. And the truth is God: “will not forget your work, and the love you have shown Him by your service, past and present, to His holy people.” (Heb 6:10) In case we ever wonder if our work will ever amount to much, remember the Beatitude: “Our reward will be great in heaven.” (Matt 5:12)
“Do not be too lengthy or people will get bored!” Her entire life was a silent witness to the Gospel. My parents were the best version of the Old Testament and the New Testament I’ve ever read in my life, which was traced by their very own lives.
In the Book of Isaiah, the Prophet says, “I have called you each by name.” (Is 43:1) and also, “I have written your name in the palm of my hand.” (Is 49:16) It’s comforting to know that God knows us by name. In 1863, Sarah Carter (American Author), assigned first names to flowers. Every person, like every flower, is uniquely made and loved by God. St. Francis saw the beauty of God in nature and he had a joyful and grateful love of flowers. Strolling around the Home with Mom, I enjoyed a plaque that read, “Friends are like flowers in the garden of life.”
The name Mary Jane means “Apple blossom – peaceful, fame goodness.” That captures Mom’s essence. Growing up, I remember an apple tree that grew in our backyard. (That seems so fitting. A tree is known by its fruit.) We all have our own beautiful “Mary Jane stories” and happy memories. Mom had various names: Fr. Victor Rocha affectionately called her, M-a-d-e-e, and others: Mari-ooch - (Italian), Grandma, Sis, Mother, Mother-Butter (spreading love over us), Jane, (Dad called her this), Honeybunch and Mrs. Jones. Whatever name you called Mom, she was always blessed to know you. As much as you respected her, she respected you, doubly.
On behalf of my natural family, my extended family, and my faith family at St. Joseph, I welcome you to this Christian celebration of burial and thanksgiving for the life of our mother, Mary Jane Jones.
Whether you’ve traveled across the McKees Rocks Bridge (the longest bridge in Pittsburgh), or trudged through a snowstorm, through 15 inches of freshly fallen snow, while sitting on Route 77 in VA and WV like my brother Dan, his wife Kelly, and three children; whether you came from across town, or you live close by; whether you came from our old stomping grounds on Allender Ave in Greentree, where we grew up, or traversed many states to get here; whether you’re a family member or friend of the family; whether you are a neighbor or a parishioner; whether you’re a familiar face or a complete stranger; whether you are religious, or lay; whether you are Catholic or another religious affiliation; whether you are a long-time companion or a relatively new one; whether you are here with us in personal presence or praying with us through a spiritual connection; whether you’re listening here in this church or tuning in on the internet; whether you’ve come from the Seminary or a Senior Home; whether you’ve come from the Keystone State of PA or the Buckeye State of OH, Mom’s home town; whether you’re from the Garden State of NJ or Sunshine State of FL; whether you’re military personnel (like Mom—a Wave in the Navy, where our parents met), or a civilian; whether you’re sitting or you’re standing; whether you parachuted in or will sky-rocket out; whether you traveled here by airplane or by car; whether you came alone or whether you came with a group; whether you’re young or old; whether you’re hitting the stride of life or hitting the ‘speed bumps’ of life’s difficulties; whether you’re refreshed or tired; whether you’re rejoicing or sorrowful; whether your faith is alive and active or whether it is fading and floundering: We are humbled, grateful, and honored that you have journeyed today to be here, to celebrate Mom’s new life in the risen Christ!
In just one month they lost two ‘Jones residents’ on the Our Lady of Perpetual Help” wing at the Home. Both had been there for over 8 years. Paul Jones (95) died on December 15, 2012, and Mom died on January 11, 2013. Paul was no blood relation to our family, but Mom and he were bonded as kindred souls, fused by kindness.
“We walk by faith, not by sight.” (2 Cor 5:7) and Mom would never want us to lose sight of the faith she gave us. Today’s Christian liturgy of Thanksgiving is abundant with signs and symbols. It’s expression is abundant through the signs and symbols: the Pall (draped over the casket by her children), the Bible (that was read, daily in our family home), the Crucifix (given by the Copeland Funeral Directors), is a replica of the Crosier, used by Blessed Pope John Paul II. This pope and my parents both embraced the affliction of Parkinson’s Disease. Through this liturgy, may you experience the sights, the sounds, the smells and the sacredness of God’s amazing grace.
Fr. Gerry Dixon, a priest of our diocese has lived for 17 years at the Little Sisters of the Poor. For 16 years, he has served as Chaplain there. Since 1974, he has had a passionate hobby for crafting grandfather clocks. He’s made 61 of them and raffled 3 or 4 off to raise money for the home. Each brought in $9,000-$10,000 for the Little Sisters.
He remarked at the funeral visitation at the Little Sisters Home, where Mom was laid out, “Rich, the only good thing about this is that you don’t have to go through it again.”
The ancient Greeks had 2 words for time: Chronos and Kairos. Chronos means “time in a quantitative sense.” It’s the kind of time we can count and divide into minutes, days and years. It’s the kind of time we can calculate on our clocks and wristwatches, the kind we measure on our calendars and planners.
This kind of time we’re most familiar with – it’s the kind of time that’s always running out. The American Poet, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1897-1882) wrote, “What is time. The shadow on the dial, the striking of the clock, the running of the sand, day and night, summer and winter, months, years, centuries-these are but arbitrary and outward signs, the measure of time, but not time itself.” Time is the life of a soul. Kairos – “time in a qualitative sense”, not the kind the clock and calendar measure. Actually this time can’t be measured at all.
It’s the time that is characterized by what happens in us at its appropriateness. For instance, it’s when we realize: “It’s time to grow up.” “It’s time to be more responsible.” “It’s time to apologize and forgive.” “It’s a time to let go and move on.”
As a priest, people ask, “Do you have time to hear my story? My problem? My confession? To visit my loved one? To say a prayer for my family?” People will say, “Father, I don’t mean to bother you.” I remind them that I was ordained to be ‘bothered’ and to share the burdens of my brothers and sisters in Christ, by carrying the dying and rising, the Cross and Resurrection of walking the Paschal path daily, in union with Christ.
Time is at a premium in most peoples’ lives in a world that runs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. We often seem to be in short supply, with never enough time. Our days are too busy, our nights are too full, and we fail to slow down and take a rest. The psalmist says in Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.” In our bathroom at home, Mom had a plaque on the wall that was entitled, “TAKE TIME” (Author, anonymous). We not only washed and cleansed our bodies, but we renew our spirits. Let us ponder the words of that plaque:
TAKE TIME to think; it is the source of power.
TAKE TIME to read; it is the foundation of wisdom.
TAKE TIME to play; it is the secret to staying young.
TAKE TIME to be quiet; it is the moment to seek God.
TAKE TIME to be aware; it is the opportunity to help others. TAKE TIME to love and be loved; it is God’s greatest gift. TAKE TIME to laugh; it is the music of the soul.
TAKE TIME to be friendly; it is the road to happiness.
TAKE TIME to dream; it is what the future is made of.
TAKE TIME to pray; it is the greatest power on earth.
On my days off, I always went to Mom’s house. She would say, “My time is yours. My calendar is free for you!” Mom always knew what we needed at the time we needed it. She always gave you her time with a listening ear. Whether it was a phone call, offered with unconditional love; whether it was a healing of our broken heart; whether it was a smile to wipe away our hurt; whether it was a kiss to say, “I’m with you and I understand”.
The last few years of her life, Mom loved to clasp my hands, raise them to her face and kiss my fingers. Mom’s gestures of love always came at the right time. She knew when to be silent and when to speak. She knew when to wait and when to let go. She knew when to pray and when to be patient. She knew when to ask for help and when not to bother us when we were studying. She knew when to ring the bell for a meal and she knew that, when the bells at church rang, of their importance. Blessed Pope John Paul II wrote: “Do not be afraid to give your time to Christ! Time give to Christ is never lost time, but is time gained, so that our relationships and indeed our whole life may become more profoundly human.”
On New Year’s Eve I traveled with my sister Karen (who lives in Charleston, SC), to Salem, OH to pick up Mom’s sister, and my godmother, Aunt Jo. It was a treasured time as the two sisters clasped hands at the Home. I anointed Mom with the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick. Aunt Jo, a nurse of 40 years both in the Navy and at Salem Community Hospital, reminded us of the words of Ecclesiastes : “There’s a time to be born, and a time to die.”
As a mid-wife, Aunt Jo, stood at the birth of countless lives of new children coming into the world. That night, she sat there with her sister who was leaving the world and said, “It’s Mary’s time. It’s okay. God provides for us all.” Aunt Jo recounted that she knew it was time to retire from nursing when she would deliver 5 lb babies, and had 10 lbs of paperwork!
Every season, every day has its own grace, gifts and beauty. The passing of time as we grow and mature and the sufferings we meet along the way are great teachers. In the words of the poet Ernest Hemmingway (1889-1961), American Author and Journalist, “The world breaks everyone, and afterward many are strong at the broken places.”
Suffering is hard to accept. We want to flee and are inclined to protest it, but suffering is the great equalizer of life. It is a mystery that comes to all. Whether a loss of a job, broken heart or physical illness, we all experience suffering. It’s part of life and part of being human. Jesus embraced it and teaches us to do the same.
When Mom entered the Little Sisters of the Poor, over 8 years ago, I vividly recall Sr. Elizabeth, during the interviewing process. I knew that everything this Home offered would be in keeping with Mom’s values and beliefs. On the Home’s questionnaire, there was a question that asked, “What are your 2 greatest accomplishments in life?” Mom’s answers were simple:
#1 - to be a mother of 7 children: Seven is the perfect Hebrew number, a sign of perfection, wholeness, harmony, unity. It was replicated again with her 7 grandchildren who will each read a petition at Grandma’s funeral.
#2 – to teach 7 year olds (2nd graders): Prepare them for the Sacrament of First Reconciliation and First Communion. Mom was not only concerned about her children’s growth in faith, but other family’s children as well. The most powerful way to teach young people that God is an ‘Ultimate’ reality in life, is by having a spirituality that is alive ourselves.
Children need to see that God, and time for God are significantly revered by adults in their life. Mom always wanted us to know and be ourselves. She kept the ‘child’ alive within her.
The ‘school of Nazareth’ is the school of our home, where we learned life’s greatest lessons. We learned respect, forgiveness, mutual help, humility, graciousness, kindness, truthfulness, gentleness, sacrifice, commitment and prayer. She was a respecter of persons, feelings, and futures.
Humble yourself lovingly before God and before others, because God speaks to the lowly. The more He humbles you, the more He will exalt you.
In Mom’s home at the Little Sisters, was a plaque of The Beatitudes. They were the summary of her life. She embodied and incarnated them. Mom was poor in spirit, with an emptiness that could only be filled with God’s presence. She yearned to be closer to God.
Mom cultivated empathy for others, who were hurting along the path. She shared her time, her energy, her presence, her faith and her love.
She was meek. She served with both strength and gentleness; with wisdom and grace, to accept blame and to give away credit.
Mom was pure of heart. She was motivated first, to serve and then to lead.
Mom sought to be an active peace-maker. She sought to live at peace with God, herself, and others.
Mom hated bills and sins and tried to get them out of the house and heart as quickly as possible.
Blessed are those who are persecuted. No one can be a holy parent without great persecution. She faced criticism, opposition, rejection and persecution with courage and grace. Mom was the embodiment of The Beatitudes, in which Jesus invites us to discipleship through His Great Invitation to “Come and follow Him”.
Jesus instructs us with His Sermon on the Mount, and He inspires us through His Passion, Death and Resurrection.
One of my favorite classes in the Seminary was taught by Fr. Bill Fay entitled, “The Passion Resurrection.” He taught us that you can only die so many times in life. There can only be so many ‘Good Fridays’. We must rise because Christ rose, and Easter celebrates this new life.
St. Thomas Aquinas suggests that God influences us with love, truth and beauty. God invites, influences and inspires us with unconditional love, everlasting truth and overwhelming beauty.
Love: God loves us as a parent, who will always be there for us. “The world and everything in it, that people desire is passing away; he who does the will of God will live forever. “ (1 John 2:17) Our society expounds external rewards, not eternal ones.
Truth: God enlightens us with unconventional wisdom. Mom lived truthful ways. “Nothing makes me happier, than to hear that my children live on in truth.” (3 John 1:4) There is so much truth to learning about life, God, others and ourselves.
Beauty: God awes us with the splendors of Creation. Mom wanted us to believe in ourselves, believe in others, and help others to believe in themselves through right relationships and virtuous living. “Christ has made my soul beautiful with the jewels of grace and virtue. I belong to Him whom the angels serve.” (St. Agnes)
Mom had a resilient faith. Nothing could keep her down. Her faith was the source of her strength, her love, her truthfulness and her beauty. I would often tell Mom, “Mom, I could eat you up!”
One Advent, she asked if I would do her a favor – to give a retreat at the Little Sisters of the Poor to the residents. So I stayed there at the Home for a week to experience the ebb and the flow of their daily life. It was a grace-filled time, and most rewarding to offer that Mission to the residents and Sisters.
Chris, a nurse at the Home said, “Your mom loved to go to Seven Springs each July to be with her family and to celebrate her birthday.” She recounted how Mom had her bags packed to go two weeks before, and said, “She was ready!” Yes, Mom’s bags were packed for God’s Kingdom. In many convincing ways, she let us know, it was time to go. And that’s ok.
I recall coming to Pittsburgh International Airport once, in November. There I found Mom, sitting with the Little Sisters of the Poor at their post, collecting money for the Home. She made countless trips with them to parishes in our diocese. And she loved going with other residents and volunteers on their monthly excursions to different restaurants for lunch. She loved and looked forward to each meal in the Home.
On Thursday, October 25, 2012, seven priests from our diocese prepared their favorite recipe, along with the chefs of the Common Plea restaurant downtown to make a meal at St. Paul Seminary as a fund raiser for the Little Sisters of the Poor called, “Heavenly Feasts”. It was a huge success. There were over 400 people in attendance and it made over $350,000 for the home. Now, Mom shares a meal at the Eternal Banquet in God’s Kingdom. Mom always hungered for Jesus in the Eucharist, and as she was nourished with His Body and Blood, may the Lord now grant her a place at the table in the heavenly Kingdom.
I enjoyed going to the movie theatre at the Home. The last movie Mom and I watched together was a Disney movie called, “Butterball”. It was about dogs. Mom was always petrified of dogs, but she loved the little Shih Tzu, “Joey” who lived at the Little Sisters Home as well as the beautiful blue parakeet in the Community Room, where she often sat.
The late Cardinal Joseph Bernardin, told a story of an old man he met on the grounds of a rest home. The man was sitting by a tree, silently meditating, with his prayer book, as the Cardinal came along. They shared some words for a moment, and the Cardinal then said to him, “I imagine God loves you very much.”
The old man smiled, his eyes glistening and said, “Yes, God’s very fond of me. Just think of the impact this world would have on our life if we actually believed, celebrated and lived daily the awareness that God loves us.”
God is a personal God who is more interested in each of us than we can possibly fathom or imagine. He loves us exceedingly and unconditionally. God’s grace is always around nudging, helping, supporting, and healing. He created us, we are God’s work of art, His masterpiece. Growing up, all my brothers and sisters worked at a nursing home near our home in Greentree - Marian Manor. We all learned early lessons in life that left an impression on us all. These proved beneficial when it was time for Mom to live in such a place.
We learned:
Yes, people in rest homes need us.
They need our conversations.
They need our visits.
They need our touch.
They need to be hugged and embraced.
They need to be respected, listened to and understood.
But most especially, they need to know that they are loved.
For when we are old, we need very little. But we need the very little, very much. May the Lord bless all those who work with the elderly—what a holy calling!
On behalf of my entire family, we resoundingly thank everyone who has accompanied us on our journey with Mom. Her life and ours have been blessed in incredible ways because we walked this journey together and cared for each other.
All my brothers and sisters were given the opportunity, (as hearing is the last sense to go), to say their parting words to Mom through the telephone. Her grandson, Daniel Patrick, who is in 4th grade, serenaded her through the phone, with his clarinet to the tune of “Mary Had a Little Lamb.” Yes, mom was Mary and she is a little lamb—a reminder of her sacrifice and innocence.
I will never forget all the Little Sisters of the Poor around Mom’s bed the night before she died at 9:00 pm. They prayed and sang “Salve Regina” “Memorare” “Our Father”, “Hail Mary”, “Glory Be” “St. Joseph Prayer” and the “St. Jean Jugan” prayer.
As the sisters kept vigil in shifts, Sr. Dorothy remarked, “I can see angels circling her room. It’s a sacred privilege to be with your dear mom at this time. She is in the spiritual birth canal. She’s just not there yet…”
Sr. Grace Marie, born in Hong Kong, a Little Sister for 26 years, relayed a story that transpired on November 22, 2012 Thanksgiving Day this past year. As Mom was patiently waiting for me to arrive at the Home, where over 60 guests and many volunteers gathered for a meal, Sr. Grace Marie said that Mom was clasping and holding the chair next to her so that no one else would sit there.
Mom said, “This is for my Richard. He will be coming …”
I love my Mom, I love my family and friends, I love the Priesthood, I love St. Joe’s Parish, and I love the Penguins. And I think Mom may have had something to do with the end of the lock out, and allowing me to enjoy the Penguins on the day of her burial!
1 John 5:4 states: “Whoever is begotten of God conquers the world. The victory that conquers the world is faith.”
In God’s good time, He takes care of all His children. All I thought I had lost, I found in God’s arms.
Mom loved that she lived in a parish of two of the Apostles – Simon and Jude. She thought that through their intercession, you got double the graces!
So I close with the words from sacred scripture in the next to the last Book of the Bible: Jude, which is only one chapter – verses 20-21, as if they were Mom’s last words to all of us:
“But, you my friends, keep on building yourselves up on your most sacred faith. Pray in the power of the Holy Spirit, and keep yourselves in the love of God, as you wait for our Lord, Jesus Christ, in His mercy to give you eternal life.”
Eternal rest, grant unto Mom, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon her. May her soul, and the souls of all the faithfully departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace, Amen.
God called, and Mom was ready!
My homiletics’ professor, Fr. Thomas J. Byrd at Mt. St. Mary Seminary in Emmitsburg, MD told us that we have 7 minutes to make people laugh, cry and feel religious. The more that we do that, the more God’s grace will touch His people. My other homiletics’ professor was my Mom! She would always say:
“Do not be too loud.” (Tone it down but light a fire!)” She was a gentile person—never boisterous or loud. Fr. Paul Zywan, whose mom lived at the Home, remarked that his mom loved being with mine because she was serene, silent and peaceful.
“Do not grow lazy!” (Heb 6:12) Laziness was never in Mom’s vocabulary. To be lazy is to be a loser. Mom wanted new stuff… new material. She would say, “Do your homework!” She reminded us that our work is important and meaningful. And the truth is God: “will not forget your work, and the love you have shown Him by your service, past and present, to His holy people.” (Heb 6:10) In case we ever wonder if our work will ever amount to much, remember the Beatitude: “Our reward will be great in heaven.” (Matt 5:12)
“Do not be too lengthy or people will get bored!” Her entire life was a silent witness to the Gospel. My parents were the best version of the Old Testament and the New Testament I’ve ever read in my life, which was traced by their very own lives.
In the Book of Isaiah, the Prophet says, “I have called you each by name.” (Is 43:1) and also, “I have written your name in the palm of my hand.” (Is 49:16) It’s comforting to know that God knows us by name. In 1863, Sarah Carter (American Author), assigned first names to flowers. Every person, like every flower, is uniquely made and loved by God. St. Francis saw the beauty of God in nature and he had a joyful and grateful love of flowers. Strolling around the Home with Mom, I enjoyed a plaque that read, “Friends are like flowers in the garden of life.”
The name Mary Jane means “Apple blossom – peaceful, fame goodness.” That captures Mom’s essence. Growing up, I remember an apple tree that grew in our backyard. (That seems so fitting. A tree is known by its fruit.) We all have our own beautiful “Mary Jane stories” and happy memories. Mom had various names: Fr. Victor Rocha affectionately called her, M-a-d-e-e, and others: Mari-ooch - (Italian), Grandma, Sis, Mother, Mother-Butter (spreading love over us), Jane, (Dad called her this), Honeybunch and Mrs. Jones. Whatever name you called Mom, she was always blessed to know you. As much as you respected her, she respected you, doubly.
On behalf of my natural family, my extended family, and my faith family at St. Joseph, I welcome you to this Christian celebration of burial and thanksgiving for the life of our mother, Mary Jane Jones.
Whether you’ve traveled across the McKees Rocks Bridge (the longest bridge in Pittsburgh), or trudged through a snowstorm, through 15 inches of freshly fallen snow, while sitting on Route 77 in VA and WV like my brother Dan, his wife Kelly, and three children; whether you came from across town, or you live close by; whether you came from our old stomping grounds on Allender Ave in Greentree, where we grew up, or traversed many states to get here; whether you’re a family member or friend of the family; whether you are a neighbor or a parishioner; whether you’re a familiar face or a complete stranger; whether you are religious, or lay; whether you are Catholic or another religious affiliation; whether you are a long-time companion or a relatively new one; whether you are here with us in personal presence or praying with us through a spiritual connection; whether you’re listening here in this church or tuning in on the internet; whether you’ve come from the Seminary or a Senior Home; whether you’ve come from the Keystone State of PA or the Buckeye State of OH, Mom’s home town; whether you’re from the Garden State of NJ or Sunshine State of FL; whether you’re military personnel (like Mom—a Wave in the Navy, where our parents met), or a civilian; whether you’re sitting or you’re standing; whether you parachuted in or will sky-rocket out; whether you traveled here by airplane or by car; whether you came alone or whether you came with a group; whether you’re young or old; whether you’re hitting the stride of life or hitting the ‘speed bumps’ of life’s difficulties; whether you’re refreshed or tired; whether you’re rejoicing or sorrowful; whether your faith is alive and active or whether it is fading and floundering: We are humbled, grateful, and honored that you have journeyed today to be here, to celebrate Mom’s new life in the risen Christ!
In just one month they lost two ‘Jones residents’ on the Our Lady of Perpetual Help” wing at the Home. Both had been there for over 8 years. Paul Jones (95) died on December 15, 2012, and Mom died on January 11, 2013. Paul was no blood relation to our family, but Mom and he were bonded as kindred souls, fused by kindness.
“We walk by faith, not by sight.” (2 Cor 5:7) and Mom would never want us to lose sight of the faith she gave us. Today’s Christian liturgy of Thanksgiving is abundant with signs and symbols. It’s expression is abundant through the signs and symbols: the Pall (draped over the casket by her children), the Bible (that was read, daily in our family home), the Crucifix (given by the Copeland Funeral Directors), is a replica of the Crosier, used by Blessed Pope John Paul II. This pope and my parents both embraced the affliction of Parkinson’s Disease. Through this liturgy, may you experience the sights, the sounds, the smells and the sacredness of God’s amazing grace.
Fr. Gerry Dixon, a priest of our diocese has lived for 17 years at the Little Sisters of the Poor. For 16 years, he has served as Chaplain there. Since 1974, he has had a passionate hobby for crafting grandfather clocks. He’s made 61 of them and raffled 3 or 4 off to raise money for the home. Each brought in $9,000-$10,000 for the Little Sisters.
He remarked at the funeral visitation at the Little Sisters Home, where Mom was laid out, “Rich, the only good thing about this is that you don’t have to go through it again.”
The ancient Greeks had 2 words for time: Chronos and Kairos. Chronos means “time in a quantitative sense.” It’s the kind of time we can count and divide into minutes, days and years. It’s the kind of time we can calculate on our clocks and wristwatches, the kind we measure on our calendars and planners.
This kind of time we’re most familiar with – it’s the kind of time that’s always running out. The American Poet, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1897-1882) wrote, “What is time. The shadow on the dial, the striking of the clock, the running of the sand, day and night, summer and winter, months, years, centuries-these are but arbitrary and outward signs, the measure of time, but not time itself.” Time is the life of a soul. Kairos – “time in a qualitative sense”, not the kind the clock and calendar measure. Actually this time can’t be measured at all.
It’s the time that is characterized by what happens in us at its appropriateness. For instance, it’s when we realize: “It’s time to grow up.” “It’s time to be more responsible.” “It’s time to apologize and forgive.” “It’s a time to let go and move on.”
As a priest, people ask, “Do you have time to hear my story? My problem? My confession? To visit my loved one? To say a prayer for my family?” People will say, “Father, I don’t mean to bother you.” I remind them that I was ordained to be ‘bothered’ and to share the burdens of my brothers and sisters in Christ, by carrying the dying and rising, the Cross and Resurrection of walking the Paschal path daily, in union with Christ.
Time is at a premium in most peoples’ lives in a world that runs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. We often seem to be in short supply, with never enough time. Our days are too busy, our nights are too full, and we fail to slow down and take a rest. The psalmist says in Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.” In our bathroom at home, Mom had a plaque on the wall that was entitled, “TAKE TIME” (Author, anonymous). We not only washed and cleansed our bodies, but we renew our spirits. Let us ponder the words of that plaque:
TAKE TIME to think; it is the source of power.
TAKE TIME to read; it is the foundation of wisdom.
TAKE TIME to play; it is the secret to staying young.
TAKE TIME to be quiet; it is the moment to seek God.
TAKE TIME to be aware; it is the opportunity to help others. TAKE TIME to love and be loved; it is God’s greatest gift. TAKE TIME to laugh; it is the music of the soul.
TAKE TIME to be friendly; it is the road to happiness.
TAKE TIME to dream; it is what the future is made of.
TAKE TIME to pray; it is the greatest power on earth.
On my days off, I always went to Mom’s house. She would say, “My time is yours. My calendar is free for you!” Mom always knew what we needed at the time we needed it. She always gave you her time with a listening ear. Whether it was a phone call, offered with unconditional love; whether it was a healing of our broken heart; whether it was a smile to wipe away our hurt; whether it was a kiss to say, “I’m with you and I understand”.
The last few years of her life, Mom loved to clasp my hands, raise them to her face and kiss my fingers. Mom’s gestures of love always came at the right time. She knew when to be silent and when to speak. She knew when to wait and when to let go. She knew when to pray and when to be patient. She knew when to ask for help and when not to bother us when we were studying. She knew when to ring the bell for a meal and she knew that, when the bells at church rang, of their importance. Blessed Pope John Paul II wrote: “Do not be afraid to give your time to Christ! Time give to Christ is never lost time, but is time gained, so that our relationships and indeed our whole life may become more profoundly human.”
On New Year’s Eve I traveled with my sister Karen (who lives in Charleston, SC), to Salem, OH to pick up Mom’s sister, and my godmother, Aunt Jo. It was a treasured time as the two sisters clasped hands at the Home. I anointed Mom with the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick. Aunt Jo, a nurse of 40 years both in the Navy and at Salem Community Hospital, reminded us of the words of Ecclesiastes : “There’s a time to be born, and a time to die.”
As a mid-wife, Aunt Jo, stood at the birth of countless lives of new children coming into the world. That night, she sat there with her sister who was leaving the world and said, “It’s Mary’s time. It’s okay. God provides for us all.” Aunt Jo recounted that she knew it was time to retire from nursing when she would deliver 5 lb babies, and had 10 lbs of paperwork!
Every season, every day has its own grace, gifts and beauty. The passing of time as we grow and mature and the sufferings we meet along the way are great teachers. In the words of the poet Ernest Hemmingway (1889-1961), American Author and Journalist, “The world breaks everyone, and afterward many are strong at the broken places.”
Suffering is hard to accept. We want to flee and are inclined to protest it, but suffering is the great equalizer of life. It is a mystery that comes to all. Whether a loss of a job, broken heart or physical illness, we all experience suffering. It’s part of life and part of being human. Jesus embraced it and teaches us to do the same.
When Mom entered the Little Sisters of the Poor, over 8 years ago, I vividly recall Sr. Elizabeth, during the interviewing process. I knew that everything this Home offered would be in keeping with Mom’s values and beliefs. On the Home’s questionnaire, there was a question that asked, “What are your 2 greatest accomplishments in life?” Mom’s answers were simple:
#1 - to be a mother of 7 children: Seven is the perfect Hebrew number, a sign of perfection, wholeness, harmony, unity. It was replicated again with her 7 grandchildren who will each read a petition at Grandma’s funeral.
#2 – to teach 7 year olds (2nd graders): Prepare them for the Sacrament of First Reconciliation and First Communion. Mom was not only concerned about her children’s growth in faith, but other family’s children as well. The most powerful way to teach young people that God is an ‘Ultimate’ reality in life, is by having a spirituality that is alive ourselves.
Children need to see that God, and time for God are significantly revered by adults in their life. Mom always wanted us to know and be ourselves. She kept the ‘child’ alive within her.
The ‘school of Nazareth’ is the school of our home, where we learned life’s greatest lessons. We learned respect, forgiveness, mutual help, humility, graciousness, kindness, truthfulness, gentleness, sacrifice, commitment and prayer. She was a respecter of persons, feelings, and futures.
Humble yourself lovingly before God and before others, because God speaks to the lowly. The more He humbles you, the more He will exalt you.
In Mom’s home at the Little Sisters, was a plaque of The Beatitudes. They were the summary of her life. She embodied and incarnated them. Mom was poor in spirit, with an emptiness that could only be filled with God’s presence. She yearned to be closer to God.
Mom cultivated empathy for others, who were hurting along the path. She shared her time, her energy, her presence, her faith and her love.
She was meek. She served with both strength and gentleness; with wisdom and grace, to accept blame and to give away credit.
Mom was pure of heart. She was motivated first, to serve and then to lead.
Mom sought to be an active peace-maker. She sought to live at peace with God, herself, and others.
Mom hated bills and sins and tried to get them out of the house and heart as quickly as possible.
Blessed are those who are persecuted. No one can be a holy parent without great persecution. She faced criticism, opposition, rejection and persecution with courage and grace. Mom was the embodiment of The Beatitudes, in which Jesus invites us to discipleship through His Great Invitation to “Come and follow Him”.
Jesus instructs us with His Sermon on the Mount, and He inspires us through His Passion, Death and Resurrection.
One of my favorite classes in the Seminary was taught by Fr. Bill Fay entitled, “The Passion Resurrection.” He taught us that you can only die so many times in life. There can only be so many ‘Good Fridays’. We must rise because Christ rose, and Easter celebrates this new life.
St. Thomas Aquinas suggests that God influences us with love, truth and beauty. God invites, influences and inspires us with unconditional love, everlasting truth and overwhelming beauty.
Love: God loves us as a parent, who will always be there for us. “The world and everything in it, that people desire is passing away; he who does the will of God will live forever. “ (1 John 2:17) Our society expounds external rewards, not eternal ones.
Truth: God enlightens us with unconventional wisdom. Mom lived truthful ways. “Nothing makes me happier, than to hear that my children live on in truth.” (3 John 1:4) There is so much truth to learning about life, God, others and ourselves.
Beauty: God awes us with the splendors of Creation. Mom wanted us to believe in ourselves, believe in others, and help others to believe in themselves through right relationships and virtuous living. “Christ has made my soul beautiful with the jewels of grace and virtue. I belong to Him whom the angels serve.” (St. Agnes)
Mom had a resilient faith. Nothing could keep her down. Her faith was the source of her strength, her love, her truthfulness and her beauty. I would often tell Mom, “Mom, I could eat you up!”
One Advent, she asked if I would do her a favor – to give a retreat at the Little Sisters of the Poor to the residents. So I stayed there at the Home for a week to experience the ebb and the flow of their daily life. It was a grace-filled time, and most rewarding to offer that Mission to the residents and Sisters.
Chris, a nurse at the Home said, “Your mom loved to go to Seven Springs each July to be with her family and to celebrate her birthday.” She recounted how Mom had her bags packed to go two weeks before, and said, “She was ready!” Yes, Mom’s bags were packed for God’s Kingdom. In many convincing ways, she let us know, it was time to go. And that’s ok.
I recall coming to Pittsburgh International Airport once, in November. There I found Mom, sitting with the Little Sisters of the Poor at their post, collecting money for the Home. She made countless trips with them to parishes in our diocese. And she loved going with other residents and volunteers on their monthly excursions to different restaurants for lunch. She loved and looked forward to each meal in the Home.
On Thursday, October 25, 2012, seven priests from our diocese prepared their favorite recipe, along with the chefs of the Common Plea restaurant downtown to make a meal at St. Paul Seminary as a fund raiser for the Little Sisters of the Poor called, “Heavenly Feasts”. It was a huge success. There were over 400 people in attendance and it made over $350,000 for the home. Now, Mom shares a meal at the Eternal Banquet in God’s Kingdom. Mom always hungered for Jesus in the Eucharist, and as she was nourished with His Body and Blood, may the Lord now grant her a place at the table in the heavenly Kingdom.
I enjoyed going to the movie theatre at the Home. The last movie Mom and I watched together was a Disney movie called, “Butterball”. It was about dogs. Mom was always petrified of dogs, but she loved the little Shih Tzu, “Joey” who lived at the Little Sisters Home as well as the beautiful blue parakeet in the Community Room, where she often sat.
The late Cardinal Joseph Bernardin, told a story of an old man he met on the grounds of a rest home. The man was sitting by a tree, silently meditating, with his prayer book, as the Cardinal came along. They shared some words for a moment, and the Cardinal then said to him, “I imagine God loves you very much.”
The old man smiled, his eyes glistening and said, “Yes, God’s very fond of me. Just think of the impact this world would have on our life if we actually believed, celebrated and lived daily the awareness that God loves us.”
God is a personal God who is more interested in each of us than we can possibly fathom or imagine. He loves us exceedingly and unconditionally. God’s grace is always around nudging, helping, supporting, and healing. He created us, we are God’s work of art, His masterpiece. Growing up, all my brothers and sisters worked at a nursing home near our home in Greentree - Marian Manor. We all learned early lessons in life that left an impression on us all. These proved beneficial when it was time for Mom to live in such a place.
We learned:
Yes, people in rest homes need us.
They need our conversations.
They need our visits.
They need our touch.
They need to be hugged and embraced.
They need to be respected, listened to and understood.
But most especially, they need to know that they are loved.
For when we are old, we need very little. But we need the very little, very much. May the Lord bless all those who work with the elderly—what a holy calling!
On behalf of my entire family, we resoundingly thank everyone who has accompanied us on our journey with Mom. Her life and ours have been blessed in incredible ways because we walked this journey together and cared for each other.
All my brothers and sisters were given the opportunity, (as hearing is the last sense to go), to say their parting words to Mom through the telephone. Her grandson, Daniel Patrick, who is in 4th grade, serenaded her through the phone, with his clarinet to the tune of “Mary Had a Little Lamb.” Yes, mom was Mary and she is a little lamb—a reminder of her sacrifice and innocence.
I will never forget all the Little Sisters of the Poor around Mom’s bed the night before she died at 9:00 pm. They prayed and sang “Salve Regina” “Memorare” “Our Father”, “Hail Mary”, “Glory Be” “St. Joseph Prayer” and the “St. Jean Jugan” prayer.
As the sisters kept vigil in shifts, Sr. Dorothy remarked, “I can see angels circling her room. It’s a sacred privilege to be with your dear mom at this time. She is in the spiritual birth canal. She’s just not there yet…”
Sr. Grace Marie, born in Hong Kong, a Little Sister for 26 years, relayed a story that transpired on November 22, 2012 Thanksgiving Day this past year. As Mom was patiently waiting for me to arrive at the Home, where over 60 guests and many volunteers gathered for a meal, Sr. Grace Marie said that Mom was clasping and holding the chair next to her so that no one else would sit there.
Mom said, “This is for my Richard. He will be coming …”
I love my Mom, I love my family and friends, I love the Priesthood, I love St. Joe’s Parish, and I love the Penguins. And I think Mom may have had something to do with the end of the lock out, and allowing me to enjoy the Penguins on the day of her burial!
1 John 5:4 states: “Whoever is begotten of God conquers the world. The victory that conquers the world is faith.”
In God’s good time, He takes care of all His children. All I thought I had lost, I found in God’s arms.
Mom loved that she lived in a parish of two of the Apostles – Simon and Jude. She thought that through their intercession, you got double the graces!
So I close with the words from sacred scripture in the next to the last Book of the Bible: Jude, which is only one chapter – verses 20-21, as if they were Mom’s last words to all of us:
“But, you my friends, keep on building yourselves up on your most sacred faith. Pray in the power of the Holy Spirit, and keep yourselves in the love of God, as you wait for our Lord, Jesus Christ, in His mercy to give you eternal life.”
Eternal rest, grant unto Mom, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon her. May her soul, and the souls of all the faithfully departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace, Amen.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Sisters—Emitting a Heaven-scent
“You were buried with Him in Baptism, in which you were also raised with Him through faith in the power of God, who raised Him from the dead.” —Col. 2:12Sisters—Emitting a Heaven-scent
Sisters—Emitting a Heaven-scentHeaven-scent
On New Year’s Eve, December 31, 2012, I traveled with my sister, Karen Wager, who lives in Charleston, South SC, to Salem, OH. We were going there to pick up Aunt Jo, and bring her to Pittsburgh to spend a final time with Mom. It was special and memorable as the two sisters clasped hands, and a powerful moment as we celebrated in prayer the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick.
Aunt Jo is Mom’s only surviving sibling. We reminisced about all the beautiful times we spent together throughout the years. Aunt Jo is my godmother. She is delighted that I am in a parish after her namesake: St. Joseph. Aunt Jo embraced the single vocation. She served as a nurse in the Navy and spent 40 years as a nurse at Salem Community Hospital following her service in the Navy.
When we were growing up, Aunt Jo felt sorry that her sister, Mary, with 7 children, had so much work to do. So 3-4 times a year, she would come to Greentree to stay with us, give Mom a little break and assist her with her motherly responsibilities. We enjoyed all the pies, pastries, cakes and gifts that she would bring in her white Monte Carlo. Some of us called her the ‘white Easter Bunny’ and later, ‘the resurrection aunt’.
Because there was limited space at our house, Aunt Jo would come during the warm weather, knowing she would be sleeping on the chaise lounge in the enclosed back porch. She recounted the story of one morning, when she awoke to find 2 sets of blue eyes and one set of brown eyes closely watching her as she slept. (Mom’s youngest 3 children—Dan, Karen and myself peering at her with curiosity!)
Aunt Jo was faithful to Mom and sent cards and letters every other day throughout her entire life. Her simple ‘gems of wisdom’ brought light, hope and joy. On her little blackboard in her kitchen, there are three words: “Love, Peace, Joy!” She mentioned that we must be carriers of these each day.
It was a snowy night on December 31 as we celebrated a Mass for the Vigil of Mary, Mother of God. As we took Aunt Jo back home that evening, we stopped to eat at the Dutch Haus in Columbiana, OH. Aunt Jo, in her usual way, had us falling off our chairs, laughing at her jokes and anecdotes.
She told the story of being in Walmart recently, to pick up a few items. (Since Walmarts are cavernous, and Aunt Jo is 92 years old, she had to know ahead of time what she wanted, and where it was located, as there is not an ample supply of energy ‘in the tank’ at that age!) As Aunt Jo went through the aisles with her cart, she noticed a woman who appeared to be following her wherever she went. Her curiosity grew to the boiling point and she thought, “I’ll fix her. I’ll just go in another check out line.” But lo and behold, after checking out, the woman stopped her and said, “Excuse me, ma'am, can I ask you a question? I’d just like to know what perfume you are wearing!” Bursting into relieved laughter that the mystery was finally solved, Aunt Jo replied, “I’m wearing ‘Gloria Vanderbilt’ I’ll never have her looks, her money, or her fame, but on occasion, I do like to wear her perfume.”
As Christians, we are called to be the aroma, the fragrance, the perfume, the scent of Christ, an elixir of ‘chrismatic grace’. My heart is filled with joy at the grace and blessings I have received from the hands of my dear and beloved mother, Mary Jane and her sister, Jo Divita. They have walked with me throughout my whole journey. They brought me to Mother Church within a month of my birth for the Sacrament of Baptism. Aunt Jo served as my godmother and to this day has not failed in her Christian witness and example. Imagine a woman following my aunt all over Walmart because of her perfume! What would it be like if we radiated the anointing of our Baptism? “Live in love, as Christ loved us and handed Himself over for us as a sacrificial offering to God for a fragrant aroma.” (Eph 5:2)
It is through Baptism that we have received life – God’s life, eternal life, a seed which death cannot destroy. The Christian writer, C.S. Lewis wrote, “A continual looking forward to the eternal world is not a form of escapism, or wishful thinking, but one of the things a Christian is meant to do.” Our God wants us to focus on thoughts of heaven, the things of heaven and the life to come. By doing this, we cultivate a virtue of hope and make it real in our lives.
St. John Neumann said, “Everyone who breathes, young and old, man and woman, has a mission, has a work. We are not sent into this world for nothing. We are placed in our different ranks and stations, not to get what we can out of them for ourselves, but to labor in them for God. As Christ has His work, we too, have ours; as He rejoiced to do His work, we must rejoice in ours, also.”
During my days as Chaplain at Mercy Hospital, I remember there was an oncology doctor who said that the most powerful moment of his life was the day that he buried his mother. It was at that moment that he felt an outpouring of compassion and care. It sensitized him to a heightened awareness in his profession as a physician, and allowed him to exercise the virtue of compassion in greater ways in his healing ministry.
The last eight years, Mom had been living at the Little Sisters of the Poor. Our family met each year on her birthday at Seven Springs in Somerset, PA for a birthday celebration. It was a great time to have a family reunion. A nurse, Chris recounted to me, “Mom always had her bags packed 2 weeks early. She was ready!” Sr. Gemma said, “Your mom was so pleasant and a blessing to our home and yours.”
A nurse’s aide, Monica said, “I’ve known your mom the whole time here. She always smiled, and was ever—so-gracious and kind.” Another nurse’s aide, Lynn said of Mom: “She was always punctual, prudent and practical. She said things at the right time, in the right way and for the right reasons.” Her beautician, Patty said, “I loved doing her hair. She was such a beautiful lady and a graceful soul. I know I’ll see her again in heaven one day.” Amy and Darlene, who work in the pantry said, “She was always the mother, helping to set the table and clean up the dishes.”
All of Mom’s children called her to say their good-bye words over the phone. Her grandson, Daniel Patrick, serenaded her by playing “Mary Had a Little Lamb” on his clarinet. Sr. Monica from Columbia said, “She is beautiful and peaceful because she led a wonderful Christian life.” Sr. Grace Marie said, “Father, I assume that you anointed her.” I nodded in affirmation. “I remember on Thanksgiving Day this year, that your mom was holding the chair next to her and told everyone, ‘This is for my Richard. He will coming…’”
Jesus describes the Kingdom as a ‘wedding feast’. (Matthew 22:1-14) and His first miracle performed at the Wedding of Cana (John 2:1-12), which is the sign of the ‘heavenly banquet’, through the baptismal garment of our sacred anointing. “May the angels of heaven gather the prayers of all the souls of little children, of generous-hearted young men and women, of hard-working and self-sacrificing parents, and for all who suffer in body and mind and present their prayers to God.” (Blessed John XXIII)
Sisters—Emitting a Heaven-scentHeaven-scent
On New Year’s Eve, December 31, 2012, I traveled with my sister, Karen Wager, who lives in Charleston, South SC, to Salem, OH. We were going there to pick up Aunt Jo, and bring her to Pittsburgh to spend a final time with Mom. It was special and memorable as the two sisters clasped hands, and a powerful moment as we celebrated in prayer the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick.
Aunt Jo is Mom’s only surviving sibling. We reminisced about all the beautiful times we spent together throughout the years. Aunt Jo is my godmother. She is delighted that I am in a parish after her namesake: St. Joseph. Aunt Jo embraced the single vocation. She served as a nurse in the Navy and spent 40 years as a nurse at Salem Community Hospital following her service in the Navy.
When we were growing up, Aunt Jo felt sorry that her sister, Mary, with 7 children, had so much work to do. So 3-4 times a year, she would come to Greentree to stay with us, give Mom a little break and assist her with her motherly responsibilities. We enjoyed all the pies, pastries, cakes and gifts that she would bring in her white Monte Carlo. Some of us called her the ‘white Easter Bunny’ and later, ‘the resurrection aunt’.
Because there was limited space at our house, Aunt Jo would come during the warm weather, knowing she would be sleeping on the chaise lounge in the enclosed back porch. She recounted the story of one morning, when she awoke to find 2 sets of blue eyes and one set of brown eyes closely watching her as she slept. (Mom’s youngest 3 children—Dan, Karen and myself peering at her with curiosity!)
Aunt Jo was faithful to Mom and sent cards and letters every other day throughout her entire life. Her simple ‘gems of wisdom’ brought light, hope and joy. On her little blackboard in her kitchen, there are three words: “Love, Peace, Joy!” She mentioned that we must be carriers of these each day.
It was a snowy night on December 31 as we celebrated a Mass for the Vigil of Mary, Mother of God. As we took Aunt Jo back home that evening, we stopped to eat at the Dutch Haus in Columbiana, OH. Aunt Jo, in her usual way, had us falling off our chairs, laughing at her jokes and anecdotes.
She told the story of being in Walmart recently, to pick up a few items. (Since Walmarts are cavernous, and Aunt Jo is 92 years old, she had to know ahead of time what she wanted, and where it was located, as there is not an ample supply of energy ‘in the tank’ at that age!) As Aunt Jo went through the aisles with her cart, she noticed a woman who appeared to be following her wherever she went. Her curiosity grew to the boiling point and she thought, “I’ll fix her. I’ll just go in another check out line.” But lo and behold, after checking out, the woman stopped her and said, “Excuse me, ma'am, can I ask you a question? I’d just like to know what perfume you are wearing!” Bursting into relieved laughter that the mystery was finally solved, Aunt Jo replied, “I’m wearing ‘Gloria Vanderbilt’ I’ll never have her looks, her money, or her fame, but on occasion, I do like to wear her perfume.”
As Christians, we are called to be the aroma, the fragrance, the perfume, the scent of Christ, an elixir of ‘chrismatic grace’. My heart is filled with joy at the grace and blessings I have received from the hands of my dear and beloved mother, Mary Jane and her sister, Jo Divita. They have walked with me throughout my whole journey. They brought me to Mother Church within a month of my birth for the Sacrament of Baptism. Aunt Jo served as my godmother and to this day has not failed in her Christian witness and example. Imagine a woman following my aunt all over Walmart because of her perfume! What would it be like if we radiated the anointing of our Baptism? “Live in love, as Christ loved us and handed Himself over for us as a sacrificial offering to God for a fragrant aroma.” (Eph 5:2)
It is through Baptism that we have received life – God’s life, eternal life, a seed which death cannot destroy. The Christian writer, C.S. Lewis wrote, “A continual looking forward to the eternal world is not a form of escapism, or wishful thinking, but one of the things a Christian is meant to do.” Our God wants us to focus on thoughts of heaven, the things of heaven and the life to come. By doing this, we cultivate a virtue of hope and make it real in our lives.
St. John Neumann said, “Everyone who breathes, young and old, man and woman, has a mission, has a work. We are not sent into this world for nothing. We are placed in our different ranks and stations, not to get what we can out of them for ourselves, but to labor in them for God. As Christ has His work, we too, have ours; as He rejoiced to do His work, we must rejoice in ours, also.”
During my days as Chaplain at Mercy Hospital, I remember there was an oncology doctor who said that the most powerful moment of his life was the day that he buried his mother. It was at that moment that he felt an outpouring of compassion and care. It sensitized him to a heightened awareness in his profession as a physician, and allowed him to exercise the virtue of compassion in greater ways in his healing ministry.
The last eight years, Mom had been living at the Little Sisters of the Poor. Our family met each year on her birthday at Seven Springs in Somerset, PA for a birthday celebration. It was a great time to have a family reunion. A nurse, Chris recounted to me, “Mom always had her bags packed 2 weeks early. She was ready!” Sr. Gemma said, “Your mom was so pleasant and a blessing to our home and yours.”
A nurse’s aide, Monica said, “I’ve known your mom the whole time here. She always smiled, and was ever—so-gracious and kind.” Another nurse’s aide, Lynn said of Mom: “She was always punctual, prudent and practical. She said things at the right time, in the right way and for the right reasons.” Her beautician, Patty said, “I loved doing her hair. She was such a beautiful lady and a graceful soul. I know I’ll see her again in heaven one day.” Amy and Darlene, who work in the pantry said, “She was always the mother, helping to set the table and clean up the dishes.”
All of Mom’s children called her to say their good-bye words over the phone. Her grandson, Daniel Patrick, serenaded her by playing “Mary Had a Little Lamb” on his clarinet. Sr. Monica from Columbia said, “She is beautiful and peaceful because she led a wonderful Christian life.” Sr. Grace Marie said, “Father, I assume that you anointed her.” I nodded in affirmation. “I remember on Thanksgiving Day this year, that your mom was holding the chair next to her and told everyone, ‘This is for my Richard. He will coming…’”
Jesus describes the Kingdom as a ‘wedding feast’. (Matthew 22:1-14) and His first miracle performed at the Wedding of Cana (John 2:1-12), which is the sign of the ‘heavenly banquet’, through the baptismal garment of our sacred anointing. “May the angels of heaven gather the prayers of all the souls of little children, of generous-hearted young men and women, of hard-working and self-sacrificing parents, and for all who suffer in body and mind and present their prayers to God.” (Blessed John XXIII)
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