Last Saturday morning, on the seventh day of the octave of the Easter, I journeyed to St. Bernard Church in Mt. Lebanon to attend the funeral of Mary Agnes D’Amico, the mother of Fr. Carmen D’Amico. She was 94 years old. Mary is the mother of 4 children and the grandmother of 13 grandchildren and 27 great-grandchildren. There were 22 priests in attendance, along with Bishop Winter for this bright and light celebration. Bright in that it reflected the laughter, levity, humor, faith and joy that characterized Mary’s life; and light in that the darkness that death creates was overcome by an abiding and confident faith in Christ the Risen One.
In that august, gothic church, there was a wide diversity of worshippers in the assembly. I greeted many women religious outside the church, and many laity from various places, including parishioners from St. Benedict the Moor where Fr. Carmen served for twenty years. Fr. Carmen even had a priest friend from Kentucky concelebrate. The liturgy was alive and every detail was well-planned. The diocesan cantor, Diane Rudolph, graced us with her lyrical voice, singing the “Ave Maria” in its entirety. At the Sign of Peace we sang “Let there Be Peace on Earth” and at Communion, Michael Joncas’ hymn, “No Greater Love.” The processional hymn was “Jesus is Risen” by Last Uns Efreusen and the recessional was “Jesus Christ is Risen Today,” a 14th Century Latin hymn. Fr. Jim Dowes, CSsR, a longtime friend of Fr. Carmen’s, played the organ, and Fr. Carmen even had him hit a few notes during his homily to rejoice that his mom had gone home. There was an outstanding brass ensemble with two trombones and two trumpets led by Bernie Black. Fr. Carmen’s longtime friend, Fr. Michael Greb, OFM Cap, sat beside him in the sanctuary and did the Rite of Committal at the cemetery.
While I sat in the congregation with my brother priests, I thought of the parallels of Fr. Carmen’s life and my own. Both of our mothers’ names are Mary. Fr. Carmen is six years older than me and his mom was six years older than my mom. Both of our mothers shared the same illnesses. His mom lived at Vincentian Regency Nursing Home in Allison Park and my mom lives at the Little Sisters of the Poor in Brighton Heights. Both of us attended St. Paul’s Seminary in Crafton and Mt. St. Mary’s Seminary in Emmitsburg, MD. Both of us shared the same pastor, Fr. Francis F. Carey, at SS Simon and Jude Church in Scott Township, and celebrated our first Mass there. And we both try to walk with God’s people simply and joyfully.
In his homily, Fr. Carmen mentioned that he took inspiration from his mother’s nursing home roommate whose name was also Mary. He noted that many people of that generation were named Mary after the mother of Jesus, demonstrating the sense of devotion of that time. Fr. Carmen’s mom was born in Italy and her maiden name, “Semplice,” means “simple.” He noted the fittingness of this name as his mother was a simple person in an oftentimes complex world. Fr. Carmen spoke of two simple beliefs which his mother lived by:
1) To think positive so that good things happen. Like the notion of Dr. Norman Vincent Peal, the Father of Positive Thinking, his mom looked at the good in life in people and in situations and always strived to bring peace in every circumstance.
2) To always “Eat jello.” As the congregation roared, Fr. Carmen talked about the joy of jello and how his mom always served jello and believed jello was a healing agent. Fr. Carmen encouraged all the grandchildren to take from their Nana’s life the lessons of living simply, joyfully, gratefully, humbly, and helping one another grow by sharing, caring and loving each other.
Mary’s married name was “D’Amico” which means “friend.” Mary was a amicable person with many friends, whether at Our Lady of Loreto Parish in Brookline of which she was a longtime member, the Three Hundred Club where she loved to dance, later as a member of St. Bernard Parish in Mt. Lebanon, or at the Italian Festival in Bloomfield which she loved to take in. Through her demeanor, graciousness and faith, Mary was a constant presence of Christ’s joy and hope to the family. She showed to all that no matter what trials, temptations or tribulations we pass through in life, if we are close to Christ, we become more purified and grow in humility and a greater measure of love for God. Even suffering gives birth to joys and we rejoice. Fr. Carmen had all the people who served at the Vincentian Regency Nursing Home stand, in gratitude for all who made his mother’s life so joyous.
There was a touching eulogy offered by her granddaughter, Mary Bell. Mary Bell commented that by age 5 everyone drank coffee in their Italian family. And she spoke of her grandmother’s extraordinary cooking and baking abilities, especially in her pizelles, biscotti and pane pasqua cu lovu (bread with egg). Mary Bell accented how her grandmother stressed the importance of family gatherings, celebrations and sacraments. I was delighted when Mary Bell said that on Holy Thursday they had a tradition to go to Grandma’s house. There her grandmother would get out all the pots and pans and open all the doors and windows, not only to let the Spring air in, but to sing and pray in order to get the devils out because too much darkness separates us from God and one another and Easter is the perfect time to purge the devil and all sin and sadness away. As Mary Bell recounted all the beautiful qualities, values, beliefs of her grandmother, she built her eulogy to a crescendo saying, “And by the way, her son is a priest, and that was the wind beneath her wings. That brought her great delight and joy.” The congregation responded with an ensuing roar. In the final commendation, we sang, “The hand of God shall hold you, the peace of God enfold you, the love that dreamed and formed you still surrounds you here today. The light of God beside you, above, beneath, inside you, the light that shines to guide you home to the loving hand of God.” As I was in the sacristy saying goodbye to my brother priests, I thought, “What a celebration.” Echoing my sentiments, Fr. Malcom McDonald, a prison chaplain said, “Now I can serve the people in jail and skip with joy!” Alleluia!
