“Happiness is to be found only in the home where God is loved and honored, where each one loves, and helps, and cares for the other.” ~ St. Theophane Venard
Heaven: Ground to Walk On
On Monday, March 4, 2013, I received a call that a 29 year old boy, Matthew J. Aloe of Upper St. Clair, who suffered with Muscular Dystrophy, was called home to God. Saturday, March 2 was the celebration of Matthew’s 29th year of life. The day after, on the Lord’s day, he received the greatest birthday gift of all - the gift of eternal life.
first met Matthew at age 7, when I listened to his first confession and gave him his first Holy Communion. I was there when he celebrated his first Mass in a wheelchair at the altar. It was fitting then, to come full circle, to be with his family at his funeral which was held at St. Thomas More Church in Bethel Park, PA. I was humbled and honored to be asked to preach the homily which follows:
During this 2013 Lenten pilgrimage, I’ve been reading “99 Blessings - an Invitation to Life” by Brother David Steindl-Rast, a Catholic Monk of the Benedictine order. He is known as a pioneer in the work of inner-faith dialogue and his promotion of the spiritual practice of gratefulness. He is co-founder of “A Network for Grateful Living” and his audio-video recordings can be found at www.gratefulness.org. He dedicates this work: “This little book is dedicated to all things, plants, animals, humans, and angels that made me blessed and able to bless.”
Brother David gives thanks for breath, dreams, colors, healing hands, friendships, departures, humility, tears, memory, the internet, birthdays, children’s toys, children’s questions and sleep. But I’d like to begin my homily by using Blessing #67: “Source of all blessings, you bless us with pilgrimage, be it to Mecca, Santiago, or Jerusalem, it doesn’t matter; not even getting there matters much, for every step is the goal, and what might seem of no importance takes on new significance: footgear, weather, singing, sweat, tiredness, silence, circumambulations. May I not use the image of life as a pilgrimage glibly. Every step is the goal. May I act this out.”
Along with Fr. Mark Eckman, Pastor of St. Thomas More, Fr. Joe Codori, everyone gathered here, those who could not be here, but are united in prayer and in spirit, we extend our heart-felt compassion in the assurances of our prayers at the loss of your dear and special Matthew. What a gift he was to us all.
When Matthew was born, he suffered complications of the heart. Around age 3 or 4, he was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy, a group of inherited disorders that involves muscle weakness and the loss of muscle tissue. This disease is passed down through families and can occur in childhood or adulthood. There are 7 types of Muscular Dystrophy. The most severe forms tend to occur in early childhood, though this disease can also affect adults. There are varying symptoms that go along with the different types. All the muscles can be affected, especially those around the face, shoulders and pelvis.
I was glad to have met Matthew as a pilgrim on the journey in my 2nd pastoral assignment at St. Thomas More. He taught me many lessons, as he taught each of us, because we walked together on this journey of life. One could easily ask the inscrutable question, “Why is life so unfair? Why isn’t there an equal playing field?” But we can’t be stuck in self-pity and self-loathing, but treasure the gift of life and walk with each other gracefully.
I always admired the Aloe family for their courage and their awareness of God’s presence, which is the foundation of their faith. Our God does not let His little ones suffer alone. He strengthens them so that the mighty waves of suffering do not engulf them. Their pain becomes the source of redemption for each and everyone of us. He surrounds them with love of their parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters, cousins and nephews, classmates and friends, neighbors and parishioners, the Make-a-Wish Foundation” (www.wish.org), and the Children’s Institute of Pittsburgh (www.amazingkids.org). The combination of prayers, faith, and thousands of people were instrumental in altering the course of Matthew’s life. Every parent can tell you that children can pack a lot of living into a single day. Courageous Matthew certainly packed a lot into his 29 years of life.
He loved life fully, confidently and fearlessly, knowing that God was with him and within him. During my years at St. Thomas More Parish (1992-1996), the St. Anthony Program for Exceptional Children was begun which insured that there would be inclusive education for all. I recall the principal of St. Thomas More School, John Yelenic, who treated each child as a special and unique gift from God and had an uncanny ability to see the image of God in each of them. As Matthew got older and had to go to class upstairs, John would hoist him over his shoulders, lifting him between classes. Like Fr. Flanagan’s “Boys Town” motto, “He’s not heavy, he’s my brother.”
At the funeral, it was amazing to feel such tremendous love from everywhere and everyone. It really lifted us up and made our burdens light. Matthew bore the name of the Gospel the family chose to have read: (Matthew 11:28-30) “Jesus said, ‘Come to me all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden light.’”
Matthew had a passion for knowledge, taking on-line courses, and surfed the internet via the tv. He enjoyed movies, museums, concerts, traveling, and fine-dining. He loved the Steelers. Matthew had courage and strength beyond his short 29 years. (Children teach us how to live.) We are grateful for what Matthew taught and brought. We are grateful for him, and our lives are better, holier and more complete for having known, loved and journeyed with him.
Currently, there is no cure for Muscular Dystrophy. But now in heaven, Matthew gets a new body without limitations and handicaps, with no braces, crutches or wheelchairs. We can confidently surrender him into the hands of our heavenly Father, knowing that He will take special care of him. He was interred at the Notre Dame Chapel at Queen of Heaven Cemetery in Peters Twp, PA. Following the funeral, we had lunch at Matthew’s favorite restaurant: Mitchells. We enjoyed his favorite dessert: 2 Oreo cookies and a Nestles Crunch Bar.
At the close of the day, may I give thanks for the presence of God, supporting me every step of the way
