"Our union with Christ unifies affections and wills."
— St. Cyprian
A 7-year-old former student of St. Joseph recently said to me, “Father, I really miss St. Joseph School. I’m at St. Malachy’s now. But this is still my church and you’re still my priest and that makes me glad.” Words of simple and alarming beauty from Joey Pettner at his mother’s wedding last Saturday in our church. There were many children at the wedding of Maureen Pettner and Shawn Connor. It was a truly joyful occasion.
At any wedding rehearsal, after the couple introduces me to their parents, family members and friends, I always give a thumbnail sketch of the history of our parish, the building and its people. It’s wonderful to see people gaze at the architecture and structure of our church whose cornerstone is 1924. Before giving the bridal party over to the wedding coordinators, I always wrap up with the question, “Does anyone have anything to ask me?” I’m always grateful that no one has ever replied, “Do you think this couple should really get married!”
Last week, when I asked if anyone had any questions, immediately a host of youngsters with flying hands bombarded me with various inquiries. Seven year-old Joey Pettner asked, “How are your feeling today, Father?” I thought, “What a wonderful question.” After two funerals on a dreary, rainy day, that question seemed to express it all and switch a light on in me. Isn’t it nice to be asked, “How are your feeling,” because how we feel colors the reality of our world. Are we stressed, relieved, tired, hurried, fearful, aggravated, grateful, upbeat, joyous, excited, peaceful or burdened? How do we feel about the day, our vocation, our relationships, our work, our church, our future, our hearts?
I am convinced that God really cares how we feel. In the ups and downs and twists and turns of each of our lives, like the change of seasons, God is in our midst. It’s good to catch our breath and get in touch with our feelings in order that they do not run away from us, as if detached from our being. To lose touch with one’s feelings puts one out of touch with reality. The psalmist in 143:8 says, “Remind me each morning of your constant love, for I put my trust in you. My prayers go up to you, show me the way I should go.”
Recently I met a person with stage-four colon-rectal cancer. I asked him, “How do you feel?” Just 2 weeks away from his 63rd birthday, the man said he felt good under hospice care, despite the diminishment of his appearance. He then showed me mementos in his room that brought meaning to his inevitable death: the picture of his parents, an innocent lamb that reminds him of Easter, the Paschal Sacrifice of Jesus, an angel reminding him that he will one day fly to heaven, the cross that his uncle, a deceased monsignor of Pittsburgh, gave him, and his prayer book that fills his heart with healing and hopefulness. All of these symbols help this dying man understand his feelings and focus on the goal of heaven.
Feelings take many forms. After watching the Steelers’ nail-biting victory over the Indianapolis Colts at almost midnight, I felt incredible relief as the football sailed through the goal-post with four seconds left on the clock, resulting in a 23-20 victory. I felt overjoyed when a retired priest, Fr. Victor Rocha, who inspired me to be a priest at St. Simon and Jude, sent me an e-mail thanking me for faithfully tending to the vineyard and reminding me that people need such care, devotion and commitment, noting that an absentee or haphazard commitment will not do. Fr. Rocha has been a constant sign of God’s encouragement in his example of serving the Lord for over 58 years. He lives at Resurrection Church in Brookline and I remind him that the Resurrection is the ultimate reality of the fulfillment of our hopes and desires, the culmination of all our feelings and aspirations.
In the September 25 issue of the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, there was a nice article in the Marketplace, Jobs and More section, entitled, “Working Tiffs: Conflict between Co-Workers is a Top Concern for Managers. Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?” Any manager, leader or person in human resources knows that there must be good communication and creativity in order to resolve human differences and conflicts. Because we are different, conflicts are inevitable; conflicts are not always bad or negative, they can be good and develop growth within an organization.
Susan Sherouse, author of Conflict 101: A Manager’s Guide to Resolving Problems So Everyone Can Get Back to Work, notes that trust and respect must result in three character qualities:
1) Reliability — being honest and following through. Are we faithful to our vows, profession, place of employment? Are we on time? Do we give our best effort? Are we accountable, transparent and diligent? Do we bring out the best in others and look for the best in them?
2) Competence — doing good work and learning new things; being a life-long learner. Are we open to new challenges, new learning and development, new models and practices? Are we making each day a masterful piece of work to the best of our abilities?
3) Care — In showing concern for the mission and the goals of an organization, are we compassionate in the human condition with the human variables, challenges, struggles, hopes and dreams?
Jesus entrusts an acreage of the vineyard to each and everyone of us. God wants us to be reliable, competent and caring for the work of effective and affective ministry, whatever ministry we are given. This calls for spiritual maturity. As we gather on this Respect Life Sunday, we must treasure the sacredness of all life: the unborn, the elderly, the underprivileged, the abandoned, the sick, the handicapped, the mentally challenged, the vulnerable -- cherishing and protecting all persons from womb to tomb.
From the Litany of the Most Holy Name of Jesus we pray: “Jesus, lover of purity, have mercy on us. Jesus, lover of us, have mercy on us, Jesus author of life, have mercy on us. Jesus, perfection of all virtues, have mercy on us. Jesus, zealous lover of souls, have mercy on us. Jesus, our refuge, have mercy on us.”
