“Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm
spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if
the whole world seems to upset you.” —St. Francis de Sales
Love: Never miss a chance to say “I love you!”
On Saturday, April 27, I arose early in order to work out for an hour on
my elliptical machine, then run 3 miles on the Montour Trail, after
which I came home to open the doors of the church. I lit 2 vigil
candles: one for the 70 future brides and one for the 70 future grooms,
who would descend upon St. Joseph for Pre-Cana instructions. As I prayed
before the Pieta (‘faithfulness forever’), my simple prayer was that
their commitment would be a pledge and promise of a lifetime of unending
love. I was saddened that we had to turn some couples away for this Day
of Reflection because we were filled to capacity, but I’m grateful that
the Felician Sisters have accepted us to present this program at their
home in the future months. It takes a lot of hard work, time, effort and
commitment for this program to be successful. Some couples register on
the internet or call the rectory, but ‘word of mouth’ of a good
experience is the best reference.
Last year we prepared
192 couples for the Sacrament of Marriage, a commitment which pales in
comparison to other commitments. It is great to see the enthusiasm and
momentum of this program, which is sown from the seeds of commitment and
dedication of our presenters, who are not marital experts, gurus,
therapists, counselors, orators, or theologians; but rather, companions,
mentors, witnesses and facilitators, who share their stories, and
‘faith examples’ with each new generation of couples.
There
are countless measures of love that make this day special, memorable
and meaningful - those who: readied Jr.’s Restaurant by cleaning before
and after, prepared the delicious meals; registered the engaged couples,
put the materials and the packets together, served the meals, baked for
the event (Cookie Ministry), set up the speakers, audio and visual
media, prepared and shared the talks, as well as the Greeters at St.
Joseph who welcomed the couples to St. Joseph for Mass, at the
culmination of the day. They were sent forth with a DVD set to music, so
that they could recall and remember the moments of the day. The program
consisted of such topics as: “Marriage: a Commitment to Love”,
“Family of Origin”, “Natural Family Planning and Human Sexuality”,
“Family Life”, “Communication”, “Finances”, and “The Sacrament of
Marriage”, interspersed with videos, question and answer dialogue, couple interaction and table sharing.
We
had 111 Catholics, 5 Lutherans, 6 Methodists, 6 Presbyterians, 1
Christian, 1 Jewish, 2 Baptists, 8 who had no religious affiliation.
During my homily at the 4:00 pm Mass, I asked parishioners, Mr. and Mrs.
Andy Borden to stand. Andy will be 100 years of age in November, and
his wife Henrietta is 91. They are from Groveton and were long-time
members of St. Martha Church, a missionary parish of St. Joseph Parish. I
announced that they were a couple who were married for 69 years, at
which the over- crowded church gave a rousing ovation of admiration,
appreciation and approval for such a long and faithful marriage. Later,
as I was distributing holy Communion, I could hear the engaged couples
saying as they nudged each other: “That’s the couple!” Andy and
Henrietta were a ‘living portrait’ of faithfulness and love that God
has. It has been demonstrated to each other in the good times and bad,
for richer for poor, in sickness and health, throughout the remainder of
their lives. “If you try to out-do one another in showing respect,
your life on earth will be like that of the angels.” —St. Gregory of
Nyssa
I conveyed to the couples that I hoped that
through committing their lives to each other in the Sacrament of
Marriage that they may know the intimacy and closeness with God to one
another, themselves, and to their family. The bond is so strong between a
husband and a wife, that individuals leave their family of origin and
begin their own new family, for they are no longer two, but have become
one.
Recently, I met with a lawyer at the Grant
Building in downtown Pittsburgh, in order to get Mom’s affairs in order.
Because Mom and Dad’s lawyer is a ‘snowbird’ he was in Florida through
the winter. I spoke to him many times in the past, and was looking
forward to meeting Henry Rae, who has a booming broadcaster’s voice. He
would remind you of Beano Cook, who was a well-known tv personality. The
two of us immediately shared a bond through our human service
professions of ‘justice and truth’ and ‘faith and love.’ I asked how
long he had been practicing his trade. His response was: “I graduated
Pitt Law School in 1953. “ My mouth dropped, and I said, “Wow! 60 years!
You must have helped many in your lifetime.” He humbly responded, “I
hope that I’ve helped a few!” Henry went on to say that he was retiring
at the end of the year. I told him that I could see the passion for his
work as I gleaned all the volumes of law books on the many bookcases
that were in his office. He noted that he was grateful that he was
spared two facets of law: Criminal Law, in which he would have to deal
with perpetrators of violence, and Divorce Court. He said that there is
no good news that comes from that particular facet - only sadness, pain,
suffering, scars and wounds.
I told Henry
that I learned from 25 years of being a priest that when the forces that
unite are stronger than the forces that divide, we are better able to
handle life’s adversities, disappointments and hardships. We must learn
from disappointments and remain undeterred by detours; they are merely
spiritual stepping stones to equip us with confidence and resolve. It is
through the Holy Spirit, dwelling within us that we can ‘sweep out’ the
sway of evil, injury and darkness; and all our defilement, betrayal,
sadness, untruths, chaos, faults, injustices, lust and greed, so that we
can welcome Him with goodness, healing, light, purity, faithfulness,
joy, trust and peace. “Whoever loves me will keep my word, and my
Father will love Him, and we will come to him and make our dwelling with
Him.” (Jn 14:23)
I ended this love-filled day at a
great ‘love of mine’ - the final game of the season: Pens vs.
Hurricanes. The Pens erupted with 5 goals in the 3rd period, and the
players gave the jerseys off their backs to the fans. I sat 9 rows back
from the ice at the blue line, and watched as the Pens sought to obtain
the goal of ‘Lord Stanley’s Cup’. I thought, “May these couples never
forget their ultimate goal: love, sacrifice, teamwork and commitment.”
Just as the Pens gave select fans their very shirts off their backs, so
too, a couple’s own bond is not without sacrifice. Love is not
automatic, love is not a breeze, love is not easy. Instead, love is a
commitment that ‘embeds a groove’ for a direction of a life, purging
selfishness, self-centeredness, sinful impulses.
This
Easter season, as we spread the seeds of love with these couples that
come from near and far to our community, let us ‘drink the wisdom of the
ages’ from St. Gregory of Nyssa:
“Faith is the womb that
conceives this new life, Baptism, the rebirth by which it is brought
forth into the light of day. The Church is its nurse; Her teachings are
its milk, the Bread from Heaven is its food. It is brought to a maturity
by the practice of virtue; it is wedded to wisdom; it gives birth to
hope. Its home is the Kingdom; its rich inheritance, the joys of
paradise; its end, not death, but the blessed and everlasting life
prepared for those who are worthy.”
