I have plenty of trials, but God is always there to support me.” —St. Emily de Vialar (1797-1856)
Every Cross Is A Blessing
Recently, I went for my bi-annual check up at the dentist. I’ve been going to this same dentist for 40 years. Most people fear dental check ups and some even avoid going, until a crisis hits. But I happen to love going to the dentist. If medical coverage would permit, I would frequent the office even more! My dentist, Dr. Andras Mecs, who is of Hungarian descent, is humble and ready to serve every patient joyfully. He’s always positive and radiant when he sees you. Each time I visit him, he will invariably and inevitably recount stories about my parents. During this particular visit, he reminisced that he and my dad were alumni of the University of Pittsburgh. Dr. Mecs told me that he always looked forward to my dad’s check ups. He said, “It was as if your dad had collected a bag of questions to ask me, so I always had to be on my toes!”
Dr. Mecs laughed when he told me how Dad, at each visit, would ’zone out’ and fall asleep in the dentist’s chair, and not because of the sedation. In raising 7 children and working as a Computer Analyst at US Steel for over 30 years, it’s understandable how one could possibly find relaxation there, with the low lighting, soft music, the joyful dental hygienist and helpful assistants, who only added to the positive experience. My dad had a profound regard and respect for Dr. Mecs as a professional and a man of integrity. He enjoyed discussing fishing, golfing and Pittsburgh sports teams with him. Dr. Mecs recounted Dad once saying, “I trust you with my life, not just my mouth. Beyond knowing your trade of dentistry; filling cavities, constructing crowns and performing root canals, you treat each patient with supreme value, respect and appreciation.”
Dr. Mecs and I both agree on the importance of having a good ‘father model’ in our lives, who provided a strong foundation for his children to flourish and grow. What is the “face” of your own father? Many have seen the commercial on tv, which states: “If you can encourage, then you can parent.” A father holds an important supportive role in our lives, as he guides, teaches, disciplines and assists his children through life with the grace of encouragement. During my visit to the dentist, we were able to reflect on the good that fathers provide: the lessons they teach, the discipline they give, the values and morals they instill, and the love that has allowed us to live out our dreams. I’m sure each father does the best he can, with the knowledge and experience, and the wisdom he has. But, we must realize that no one does everything perfectly all of the time. We are all a ‘work in progress’ and we must vow to become the best person that we can, each and every day.
Dr. Mecs told me that he sees so much of my dad in me; in my traits, features, temperament and even my physical characteristics, which resemble my dad in his early years. He said that in July, he and his wife will be making a 3,000 mile journey to California, to help their son relocate. He said that part of his heart will be left there in California with his son, as they make their way back across the country to Pittsburgh.
Jesus, in his resolute determination to go to Jerusalem, to suffer and die, offers a shocking and stunning challenge to his disciples: “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life, will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. What profit is there for one to gain the whole world, yet lose or forfeit himself?” (Lk 9:23-25)
There are no ‘shortcuts’ to following Christ. Discipleship calls us to the heights of maturity. Before mastering any trade or profession, we must first master “knowing ourselves.” Perhaps it’s easier to master our profession, and more difficult to fully know ourselves. We must first know our limitations and our possibilities, our vices and our virtues, our weaknesses and our strengths, our sins and our graces. St. John Vianney was once complimented on being a good confessor. He remarked, “If I’m a good confessor, it’s only because I’m a greater sinner!” This holy man realized that the struggle with sin never lets up. The only way we can be victorious over it, is through self-denial or self-mortification. In a world of compulsivity, we can be driven by ‘the immediate’ and indulge ourselves recklessly in the tyranny of self-destruction. St. Padre Pio said, “Self-denial is not our gift to God, but allowing God to do more for us.” Yes, we must all do battle with Satan daily, with selfishness, sickness, sin, vices and evil. This can take a toll on any of us.
The Cross is central to Christianity and every Christian. St. Rose of Lima said, “Without the burdens of afflictions, it is impossible to reach the height of grace. The gifts of grace increase as the struggles increase.” No life or vocation is immune or exempt from carrying a cross. However, we do not carry it alone; Christ helps us. Thus, we must have compassion to help others with their burdens and challenges.
I sometimes remark to couples in my wedding homily, “Although you may not see it yet, your vocation of ‘covenant love’ will walk through Jesus’ 14 Stations of the Cross.” (Stations literally means steps.) You will have falls. You will be hurt. You will feel alone. You will be injured. You will make great sacrifices. You will yoke this commitment responsibly. Love will be the sustaining power that is only borne through the Cross. Your love will be tested through time, purified through sacrifice and humbled by forgiveness. You will learn that every cross is a blessing, because wisdom comes through it.
We must pray daily, for the grace to walk with the Lord as His disciples, day by day. As my 92 year old godmother, from Salem, OH, Aunt Jo, would often say, “Inch by inch, it’s a cinch; yard by yard, it’s hard!” Aunt Jo, who possesses over 300 cookie cutters, has been busy baking cookie crosses for my 25th Anniversary celebration. She said that, last week, she had so many crosses in her kitchen, that it looked like Arlington National Cemetery!
Don’t look too far ahead, or you’ll trip and lose the way. Let us focus on grace we need to be faithful to Jesus each and every day. The former UCLA Basketball Coach, John Wooden would often say, “Make every day your masterpiece.”
