“I thank thee, Almighty God, that in sending me so great an affliction in the last hour of my life, thou wouldst purify me from my sins, as I hope, by thy mercy.”
—St. Margaret, Queen of Scotland (1046-1093)
Fatherhood: The Greatest Self-giving Gift
On this Father’s Day weekend, Saturday, June 15, 2013 at 10:00 am, Bishop David A. Zubik will ordain 25 men to the order of the Diaconate at St. Paul Cathedral. What a joyful day for the Church of Pittsburgh! Two of the men will be transitional deacons en route to Holy Orders and ordained as priests. Twenty three will be ordained as permanent deacons, bringing the total number of deacons to 99 who currently serve the Church of Pittsburgh.
Recently, I read a story in “The Deacon’s Bench” about Deacon Joe Moratta, who was ordained last fall from the Diocese of Richmond, VA. He was 39 years old, with a wife, Katie, and 5 children: Caroline, Christopher, Jack, Michael and William. While vacationing at the Outer Banks, in Duck, NC, with his family, Deacon Joe suddenly drowned while swimming. It left everyone in disbelief, disheartened, numb, shocked and beset with grief. It was a vivid and painful reminder that life is not always fair. It does not always unfold as we plan or envision. I read the accounts of this scholar, father and spiritual leader, who worked as a controller at Randolph College, and who has a blog entitled, “The Journeyman Carpenter”. He could talk football in one moment, fatherhood in the next as well as preach powerfully on the Epistles of St. Paul. He had many cyber friends, and had a contagious spirit of joy and enthusiasm. He had a great sense of humor, and more than anything in the universe, he loved and adored his growing family. He never tired of telling stories about his children. Some remarked that no one ever got ‘deeper into their soul’ than Deacon Joe. He stung the hearts of people, penetrating their souls with God’s love.
He stressed the importance that our value does not come from what we do, but from who we are. It’s not our accomplishments, our achievements, our ambitions, that make a father, but who we are, in relationship to God, our Father, who is creator, protector, provider, sustainer, who gave us his Son, to be the model and example of sacrifice and suffering love.
Deacon Joe died on June 5. There were 800 people in attendance at his funeral, which was held at Holy Cross Church in Lynchburg, VA. In a local paper, there were requests for prayers for the Moratta family which read, “God bless you, Deacon Joe Moratta. Thank you for being my friend. Pray for him, folks, please. Pray for his young wife and children, and for all who love him. Say a rosary, light a candle. The world is a little darker today.”
When I read the daily obituaries, I am drawn not so much to the list of accolades, accomplishments or attributes; rather I notice the list of ‘proceeded in death by…’ and the list of ‘survived by…’ It compels me to ask two questions:
1. “Who will be there to welcome the deceased into the next life?” I always imagine my parents, Archbishop Fulton Sheen, Blessed Pope John Paul II, St. Francis of Assisi, and my Patron Saint, St. Richard of Chichester. These are the likes that I hope to be joined with when I die.
2. “Who is left behind to bear the burden of grief as they face their tomorrows with courage, faith and hope?” As Christians we are called to be the ‘balm of Christ’ for people in suffering and anguish, especially to feel others’ misfortunes and show understanding for others’ failings and defects. Time and time again, the Gospel of St. Luke records that Jesus had a compassionate and merciful heart. for the sick, the suffering and the sinner. Christianity is more than a rule book, a moral code, or a theology exposé. It is the awareness that God loves His people and forgives them.
The Evangelist Luke presents Jesus sharing table fellowship with a wide range of people on the social ladder, so much as 19 times in the Gospel. In this week’s account, Jesus is invited to a formal meal at the house of Simon, the Pharisee, a well-to-do man, who had an open courtyard where there was a garden and a fountain. Suddenly, an unknown woman crashed the party. We do not know her name or her sin, but that is not important. Normally, there were 3 essential gestures of hospitality that were offered: a kiss of peace, the washing of hands and feet, and the anointing of the head with oil. The shock was that these gestures did not come from Simon, but from this unknown woman. She anointed Jesus with her whole jar of expensive ointment. She bathed his feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair, as she pleaded for his mercy and forgiveness.
Let us imagine, what is the worst thing you ever did in your life? What is the one thing in your life that you are most sorry for? Would you have the courage or grace, and be contrite enough to be humbled, as this woman was, when she asked Jesus to wipe out all her offenses, to forgive her sins and allow her to begin again? Simon was too busy pointing fingers at others. As they say, “When we point fingers at others, three fingers are pointing back at us.” Because of her great sorrow for her sins, Jesus showed her great love.
We all sin and make mistakes. We are all weak and broken in our nature. Sometimes our relationships are more dysfunctional than functional. It’s not a perfect journey for any of us. It was never meant to be. That’s why we must cling to and yearn for God; knowing His forgiveness and love along the journey. He loves us in spite of our brokenness. We can’t earn God’s love; we don’t deserve it. We can’t buy God’s love; we can only accept it. No sin is too big for God to forgive. No sin is too grave for God not to heal it. No sin is too long ago, that today’s fresh forgiveness cannot heal. No stranglehold of sin or addiction can hold us back once we experience the liberation from the stranglehold of death. No sin can hold us in the tomb if we seek to be released by God’s healing touch.
The saints knew their many sins, but they were also great lovers. When we really love, it makes us ‘sin-sensitive’. Jesus loves us so much that He really died and really suffered for us. So we must count our blessings, as He seeks to restore us, receive us and reconcile us.
Father’s Day is a great day to thank God for the vocation of fatherhood, whether biological, adopted or spiritual. As we spend time celebrating our fathers by sharing a meal or remembering them in death by a visit to the cemetery, let us always remember to honor, respect and pray for them. Happy Father’s Day!
